It is finally cold.
Cuticles split
fingers raw
my hands cannot get warm.
Your kisses hurt.
I want them so badly.
I have a mouthful of ashes
gold coins block my vision.
I sought the night,
tried to swallow the moon.
In a quiet shadow
I listened to your breath
fill your chest as dreams
moved you in a restless toss.
The tracks left
are salty white. Finger nails
bitten down to the quick.
Before I leave again
I wish I could take your misery
with me. I can only rustle
like leaves in a slight breeze.
Turn out into the stars
and once more
wait for feet to leave tracks.
12:29 AM
11/23/08
Alexandria, VA
Please tell me what you think, what it makes you feel, how you are moved.
Comments
1 - 38 of 38
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very nice imagery
Before I leave again
I wish I could take your misery
with me. I can only rustle
like leaves in a slight breeze.
Turn out into the stars
and once more
wait for feet to leave tracks.
this is beautiful,, thank you for sharing your talent with me/us
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Would we want the agony and grief of those we truly love tangled in the path of our death. Once we find we cannot relieve their pain, what is left but to heed the call to live again, return to leaving graffitti on the currents of time.
Peace & Light,
Tom B.
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Ah, the coins on the eyes of the "season", the tracks. This was a five-reader for me, just really an elegant read.
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Thanks. So much is wound in the spirit until the it creates its own time.
Peace & Light,
Tom B.
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I like the metaphors in these lines; filled with images easy to read and very understandable. Enjoyed reading the comments as well. How we wish we could make those we love happy, even when we take that final trip. Most times they find it a very difficult time and many grieve for a long, long time; oft times never recovering.
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Love is a living energy and carries us to places we never knew without its blessing. It is the greatest gift.
Love, Tom B.
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Very nice and flow good great job. Enjoyed the read. Thanks for sharing Melody
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Thanks, Glad you enjoyed the read.
Peace & Light,
Tom B.
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dreamlike and lucid flowing verse in this flreely drawn imagery of a wintry chill. I like the dark corners of this write, down to the gritty bone. Very nicely written in moving feeling.
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Just a moment from the other side when winter is warm enough to let it speak.
Peace & Light,
Tom B.
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Quite look from the graveyard looking up. You capture a complete picture of all the senses. Well done!
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thanks. I find myself toying with different visions of how a relationship completes itself. I am glad you enjoyed this more somber vision.
Love, Tom B.
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I think this poem is awesome
I hope for your sake more poets will give it a read. You are a valuable asset to this site. Probably tired of hearing from me. -
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You under-rate yourself to think I would tire of you. I appreciate the value you find here and in my words. May the cycle of days continue to enlighten your heart.
Love, Tom B.
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I watched Ghost Whisperer
It must have a great serious question? Must come to you in the silent hour of your night.It's only fiction, I prefer non-fiction. I'm way too serious at times. Must be my life at present. -
How was it swallowing the moon? A Vigil for whom?
I'm just an indulging soul...Dig deep into yourself for a true answer... -
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There is a quality to loss that creates a vision of how the emptiness is filled.
Ghot Whisperer is a TV program where she lost her husband in one episode and he couldn't walk into the light and leave because he loved her so much.
It is about a quality of knowing. When I first lost someone I loved to death when I was in high school, I suddenly wanted rebirth to exist. I couldn't stand the idea of her totaly passing out of existence.
Love, Tom B.
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Supernatural and bittersweet. Can the dead long to live again, perhaps have a second chance to do it better? Excellent read that leaves one pondering.
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Is it real or perhaps only a metaphor for our own longing? Would we have it be so or wish them another life to be as perfect as they were in the one we shared?
Thanks for enjoying the piece and stopping by to share your thoughts.
Peace & Light,
Tom B.
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Beautifully descriptive. Reading it, I felt sad and aching. It's wonderful, and I can't find anything wrong with it.
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Thanks. It is good to know that you felt it. What more could I ask for.
Love, Tom B.
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THANKSGIVING
Was I close to what your poetry "expressed" in retrospect? Is it all about living life to the fullest? -
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Ah, my friend, you see much farther into my works than most. At least, your sharing touches upon much more. I deeply appreciate that.
My poetry, I always feel, is self evident. I make not effort to be obscure. This is about someone so in love that they are unwilling to leave their love alone, even in death, but at last recognizes that God has a greater plan and leaves to return perhaps again someday.
My Thanksgiving will be spent with my sister and as my family feasts with hers. This poem is not a reflection of mood so much as untangling myself from a story.
Love, Tom B.
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Charon's Obol
Psyche's Catabasis says gold coins in the eyes are fare for the return, souls rebirth, hints of death is not final but can be revearsed.
A return trip must be anticipated ?
"The Fruits of Victory will be like ashes in the mouth".
John F. Kennedy...
A decieved heart hath turned him aside that he cannot deliver his soul nor say, is there a lie in my right hand.
Could mean a soul is being held hostage by pirates?
Carat/Purity
A rich person death makes no distinction between rich and poor, all must pay the same because all must die. A rich person can take no greater amount into death.
Someone who has had the greatest love and the deepest depth of touch,will always long for those kisses, and search for those footprints.
Wishing you a Happy ThanksGiving...A glowing fire to warm your hands, I'm sorry for the misery you wish to take with you. I think she knows how much you loved her.....Maybe her misery has vanished....Let's hope so. Heaven is a beautiful place. It is here on earth too....
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At fifty-eight, I have known the death of too many loves. Still, I carry the spirit of their lives as a call to live mine to the fullest.
I got fascinated by the way love weaves people closer. The last episode of Ghost Whisperer was probably an influence as well. God touches me when I least expect it and I hear stories that the wind takes away before I can hear the end.
Love, Tom B.
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I loved the metaphors you used; they were the double threaded stitches that held this piece together. It was indeed a sad tale but such is life. It made me wonder what would move you to write such a thing
Great write
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The truth: I was inspired by the last episode of Ghost Whisperer.
Love, Tom B.
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Wowwwwwwwwwwwww!!!
Holy moly, pen friend...
"I have a mouthful of ashes
gold coins block my vision."
Incredible two lines.
Great metaphorical writing...the tease of many meanings, and the reader is drawn in light deer to light!
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Thanks. When spirits are bound and life passes, the longing for touch is still there.
Love,
Tom B.
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i had to read this twice and the second time it all fell into place for me, this is a sad tale x
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It might make more sense if I said it was a tale of a ghost. Yes, it is a sad tale. Often the hardest part of love is letting go.
Love,
Tom B.
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This has alot of feeling this and I could actually see this with the words you used! A very well written piece this is
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If after we have died and we could give one last good by ...
Love,
Tom B.
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This has an ache to it, like you never want to leave this place but are forced to, it made me quite sad as i read this and wanted you to turn back and stay. You are quite the storyteller in this. C
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Think of when gold coins are placed upon the eyelids. I have been dancing with ghosts again
Love, Tom B. -
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lol It is a beautiful waltz
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stay on track but good.
Hell
I really enjoyed the imagery your words gave me . But the problem I found with this is I couldn't follow your feelings for get a permanent image in my head, but rather just so a bunch of randomly spersed images. Anyways I still loved it.
Come read some of mine sometime and critic away
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Perhaps it would come together better if you considered when gold coins are placed upon the eyes.
Tom B.
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