Don't You Wish?

Well shit.
There goes another holiday.
Just like Christmas.
Just like the past few birthdays.
I did it again.
Don't I have perfect timing?

I seem to have a knack for screwing things up
right when everyone is happy.

You ask me over and over again
'what the hell is wrong with you?'

You tell me over and over again
that I'm 'un-fucking-believable'.

What am I supposed to say?

'I'm sorry. It won't happen again.'
As if you'd believe that shit?
How can you expect me to tell you anything
if I know that you won't believe a single word
that comes out of my mouth?

Don't you wish that you
hadn't gotten yourself into this mess
in the first place?

Don't you wish that you
hadn't gotten yourself married to a woman
who had a child like me?

I'm not your responsibility.
At least I shouldn't be.
I guess it's not your fault
that my real father is who he is.
I love him anyway.
Who says I want a relationship with you?

Don't you wish that you
could hurry up and have your own kid
so that you can mold them into
a perfect child?
Someone better than me?

Don't you wish that I wasn't a failure
so that you don't have to shake your head in embarrassment
and admit that I'm not your real kid?

Don't you wish that you could be proud of me?

I do too.

The trouble is
that I am a failure.
And I could never prove you wrong.
I always fit perfectly into your equation.
The stupid teenager
who has no clue what she's doing
and doesn't give a shit
about a single thing that you say.

Am I supposed to say 'sorry'
for proving you right?

Sorry.