Like Baby Jesus, I am crucified under
fake smiles, death notes dancing to
the Queen Of Hearts, as she clutches
my thoughts in an iron grip, I bleed red,
so red that it could be mistaken for rainbows,
clotting my judgment for poor self images.
Freedoms turn to shadow, slithering down
seedy underbellies of sidewalks, whispering
curses of panic attacks, the acute feeling
of a lamb in the slaughterhouse; long, lost,
and forgotten in a paper bag of carbon
monoxide hopes and dreams, plastic flowers
for the poor and anxiety for the guilty, a rose
to be grown in the valley of the dolls decides
the fate for those common peoples.
The laughter of a clown travels far down
the road of the sun, only barely reaching
my fingertips, for I am a puzzle of the moon
shining bright, so close that I could touch it,
if only the power of nature can heal my
wounds and animals can suture this givin
destiny of a riddle called life making my
panic attacks go away, just anything but
panic.
Author notes
I guess you said whatever has been on my heart lately,
I have panic attacks and they suck big time, its like I never used to have them, then just one day, poof I have them... its weird.
Anyways this is just a short poem of what its like to live with anxiety.
Its not like I have panic attacks all the time, I just was cursed with it somehow, and I always wonder what I did to deserve it.
A contest entry
- undeniable. by broken-colours.
700 points, ended December 1, 2008, 9 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Yep they do suck I remember. You express it well with emotional impact. You know how to make one feel through
your words. You made me feel too. Kudos on another great write.
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I can see why youwere an honorable winner you should have won gold though.You did a great job expressing yourself and it is hard to live with panic attacks.I have them to and they do suck.Hope things go better for you.
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Aw. Doesn't sound like fun at all. I have a friend who has anxiety/panic attacks, and it's like one moment she'll be completely normal, and then she's not.. The imagery in this is crazy and brilliant. Some of these things I would've never thought of.
Nice. Thanks for entering my contest!
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Oh thank you so much!!!! For giving me an honorable mention, I thought you were still mad at me or something..
Anyways now that the contest is over I can revise and edit my work.... gives me something to do today and tomarrow.
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Oooh, this was both surreal and painful -- I think you have really shared this well with those of us who have never had this level of panic or anxiety. Your descriptions are so well-done, edgy, that I find I am breathing a bit faster just reading this. Not a pretty poem, but very effective. We need the education to help us understand and open our hearts. Good work!
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Hey thank you, I was having a bad day at that time, sometimes you just need to let it out
Thank you for the comment, I always appreciate it, especially your comments, I love ya so dear poet.
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Deserve it?
I don't think you deserve to have anything bad, because you have always been good to me. I use to have these too, but 5 kids and life taught me to go with the flow and I don't worry about things anymore. I am not in control, God is. Let him have the panic attacks. I just do what I can, the best way I can and the rest is up to Him! I wish I could take your pains away. I love ya, The Shaker
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Thank you, and I love ya also, if its one thing I value most in the world its friendship, very important in my standards. Sometimes the smallest thing can brighten my day, and you did that
I didn't know you had panic attacks also, but I am glad to see that someone can control them, it always gives me hope to keep on going when hearing first hand of someone who has been there. And I never thought of just letting god have the panic attacks, that is actually a good idea, a really good one, I should write that on my arm and every time I have a panic attack I will think of that and see if I do a little better. Just sometimes I can't help but have them control me, its so complicated.
Anyways I always enjoy getting comments from you, it brighten my day, a lot actually, I first thought your comment and smiled, it felt good to smile.
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