it took too long to get here.
seventeen years of shielding myself
from you with
the same hands made the numbing
pass quicker makes the
the weight of water feel
soft. and
it was ten years ago now that
I used to pray to a man named
Jesus, I would ask him
to make it all go away
and I sometimes
imagined that I could hear
his reply.
it was one year
ago now that I found myself
in someone's garage with something
cold on my skin and
it pierced that part of my
body that couldn't ever
warm up, slowly scarlet
found me laying half
alive in her arms.
oh it was one year ago that
I realized it had taken so long
to get here, and it only
took a few moments
for it to stop.
but
it seems that another one
was all it took to
make me as strong as you had been.
A contest entry
- & all the pretty flowers in the dust ♥ by Immortal Obscurity.
400 points, ended December 4, 2008, 15 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think?
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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this was written in such a personal way... i know, i know... you are going to say because maybe it's personal, duh? but i already know that. im trying to say that the way i read this, the way you portrayed your thoughts in a poetic retelling of a bit of your life, almost made me feel i was intruding, yet, that i was supposed to be there knowing. ok, im having a hard time explaining what i mean exactly. so let me say this... im very glad that someone was there, that someone cared at a moment when you needed it. every tiny bit of caring we give to another marks them, along with marking ourselves, as a life changed.
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i have nothing to say about this.
your talent is insane.
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oh my my ... what a tragic and reality filled piece... when we share our stories on here, i am often taken aback by the raw we all possess and how we let it out in the form of poetry on here ... brilliant and thanks for sharing ...
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"it was one year
ago now that I found myself
in someone's garage with something
cold on my skin and
it pierced that part of my
body that couldn't ever
warm up, slowly scarlet
found me laying half
alive in her arms."
Jesus H. Christ, this is perfect; both disturbingly-profound and profoundly-disturbing. I'm gathering, from those lines above (my favourites, by the way) that you are either an ex-cutter or have attempted suicide; I'm hoping that there's nothing too personal here, but if there is, I also hope that writing this has helped you to find closure and to make peace with yourself. Well done & thanks so much for entering
Laura
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Wow. This makes me want to cry. I love the last few lines. Well done.
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I'm very glad you liked this. It is so personal.
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True. But those are almost always the best. The give us the most emotion.
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