both insecure,
lost…
fragile hearts where
hurting parts shake...
suddenly fitting
so completely
and then…
missing each other
every moment
separately…
breathing in...
each minute together
like a treasure…
fearing...
while time runs
fast in days
slowly in aching…
awareness grows...
a sensation like this
can only be experienced
here and now…
Author notes
Wolf Mistress
Time Before Love (or) Love Before Time
Amaranthine Lover
A contest entry
- LOVE ME NOT by Whispering Wind.
700 points, ended December 6, 2008, 25 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Best Prewrites From November 2008 by amaranthine lover.
700 points, ended December 28, 2008, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Romance & Men by JesusFreak92.
550 points, ended December 12, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Love is such a strange thing, isn't it???
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
-
great write!!!
we are all doing our own time in one way or another. you know? and i guess that makes us all a little bit fragile... but this was very good writting, wished i would have wrote it! good write man. good write. love gypsygfish
-
Very well written, the short, flowing lines are great for giving the allusion of speeding time, as if it is an automoblie that is on your heels... though you'd like to stop and rest, you're afraid of time hitting you and driving on without you.
Love the write.
s and best wishes always... ~Genie~
-
I like the initial idea of this, but to me it seems kind of bland. I tend to like some imagery to really push forth the meaning of a piece and I think that this is what this piece is severely lacking.
-
"while time runs
fast in days
slowly in aching..."
I love the title, and the strength of your description. You've created this pain and emotion, the ups and downs of love, so well. Many who take this approach start with one extreme and end with the other, but you mingle both throughout, and it feels like a truer story and the reality of a relationship. You convey this perfectly.
Well penned,
~lost -
BREATH TAKING
each line flows with its own emotion and sits waiting upon the heart as a tear would upon the cheek...excellent! thank you kindly for entering
-
-
Thank you!!!!
Awww thank you soooo much for the Bronze
I really enjoted writing for your contest
xxJeannette
-
-
A beautiful take on the title. Sad but beautifully written. Lovely imagery throughout to touch the reader's heart. Take care and thank you for sharing. A pleasure to read this morning. Take care, Sandy
-
Each person experiences love differently, but there are some universal truths that you have expressed so well in this poem. I particularly liked, "suddenly fitting so completely." That "AHA" moment is magical. Good luck in this contest. Peace, Liz
-
Such a beautifully written piece! And love is strange, can be the be all and end all at times. I like how you've approached this, portraying the path of love so tenderly. Much truth in your words, some can live in fear of it ending which spoils the here and now really. A superbly penned poem, all the best in your contest
-
Truly beautiful! And you're right. I love how you used those words, that love is like heaven but can feel like hell, and then putting it out in your own sensual piece. Very fragile. Loved it!
-
Your very right, love can hurt like hell, sometimes i wonder if it's all worth it.
I enjoyed reading this piece Jeannette, your poetry gets better and better each time i read something of yours. I don't think you should change this i like the way it reads now.
Adding your comment:
1 - 11 of 11
