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Menacing Monotone - HM

Missing image



Bone dry days
crisp lisping leaves
stutter
across the yard

Grey sky hours
seeping sweeping brush
muffled
cheek turned away

Wild shrill wind
clears blustery throat
menacingly
through rough trunks

Fall’s fallen warriors
crimped and limp
dissolving
into winter’s growl










In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • Sue Cardwell gold member
    November 26, 2008

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    Thank you for your entry in the contest. Your imagery is excellent and I can almost feel the leaves swirling around.
    An enjoyable read.

    All the best...Sue


    • CarolDesjarlais silver member
      November 26, 2008
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      Thank you, Sue. It has been a while since I have been on and I am getting my feet wet again.


  • just mercedes gold member
    November 22, 2008

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    I like this for the intense imagery, and the flow that seems to echo the action of the wind.

    I always read aloud, and had a hesitation with 'crisp lisp' in the first stanza. Excuse my cheek and daring, but I found 'crisp lipped' to work better for me.

    The final two lines, with the falling cadence, really wrapped the poem up well.


  • Night Hope gold member
    November 22, 2008

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    You know I admire all of your words, my dear Friend. The first & last stanzas are staggering in their visual intensity. Good luck in the contest, Sweetie. I have missed these precious moments.

    • CarolDesjarlais silver member
      November 26, 2008

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      I hope you are doing better. I have my ups and downs, but I am being a sporadic poet jsut now...you can never get a poet all the way down..long as their fingers can type and their lips moving.

      • Night Hope gold member
        November 27, 2008
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        You're about as much a "sporadic poet" as I am, Dear Heart. Your first wail upon birth was a spoken poem. I don't care if you write it down or not (wait! yes, I do!) you are still & always a Scribe, my Sister. You can't help it. It's in the fire in your blood, in the calm of your storms, in the still of your solitudes. You know the NRA saying, about "you can have my gun when you pry it from my cold, dead fingers"? Same for me & you, with pen & paper...& I expect there to be a struggle, at that. After all, I DID write you that one about "there will be poetry in Heaven", didn't I ? Love you, Lady. MAYBE your "slight lull" will give me a chance to catch up with reading your output, but I kinda doubt it, knowin' you as I do. Not complainin' at all, mind you. Just recognizin' my kindred.

1 - 8 of 8