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Sleep never shows

Sleep never came to me that night
Yet when I look at you walking towards me
When I see you smile at me with those liquid blue eyes
My heart races
My fingers sweat
And my eyes can’t even blink
Sleep never came that night
I never felt so awake

A contest entry

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

  • reveller silver member
    November 8
    ?
    Edit | Reply

    Great write..

    It really tickled me, because seeing someone you fancy or love, does have that affect. So true, especially the last two lines. Fab write!


  • written-in-ink
    December 6, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    love it

    i think that you did an amazing job with the prompt
    =]]

    thank you and good luck


  • Aesthete
    December 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    sweeet
    definitely know that feeling :]

    liquid blue eyes is a nice visual