Break-Up Break-Down 3

This is what I am feeling right now,
this very second,
this very moment of my life.
I don't want you back,
I don't want your lips to ever touch mine again,
I don't ever want you to lay another hand on me--

But, for whatever reason, I want to know what you're doing,
every minute of the day.
It's not that I miss you, but maybe I'm still bitter;
And it's just that even though I don't miss you,
I don't want there to be another girl yet--
another girl who does miss you,
and who does want your lips to touch hers,
and who does want your hands all over her.

I'm searing with all this pain,
indescribable pain because I don't miss you
I don't want you back
And I don't want you to move on before I do.
Because I've accepted what I can't change,
And I'm alright with this now,
But I can't accept that maybe you've accepted it too,
and that maybe you're alright with this now.

This pain that burns and hurts so bad because
I want to forget about you, but I want to be unforgettable myself.
And I want to stop writing all these poems about you,
But I think maybe it's like my catharsis, and it's helping me get past you.

And I've got so many things left to say,
like how I don't want to notice you but
I want you to notice my butt in these jeans,
I want you to notice that my hair looks good today,
I want you to realize that you're missing out on something great--
Something great that won't waste her time with you again.
And I don't want you to notice that I want you to notice.

So I don't know what to do anymore.
I don't want to talk to you anymore,
but I want you to talk to me so badly.
What am I supposed to do if I don't even know what I want?
When do I get control of my own feelings back?

I forgot how long it takes to stop caring about a person
who used to occupy such a large space in your heart.