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The New Age

I was an orphan of the new age,
Alone,
Surrounded by an air of malice.

An age where no self-discipline was practiced,
To keep vanity under control.








-I have lost all respect for my peers.

Author notes

Taking Back Sunday x Panic At The Disco

Word Bank 3:
Orphan
Alone
Malice
Vanity
Respect
Discipline

A contest entry

Anything I should change?

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • catalyst.
    November 23, 2008

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    I was an orphan of the new age,

    I absolutely loved the theme of this poem. I could really relate too the last line how through this 'new age' they call perfect, people have lost a sense of self disipline and now were all just wanderers searching for mirrors to feed our vanity or kill our shortcomings.

    amazing.


  • Rhythm Child
    November 22, 2008

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    i think the way you have written a poem with such meaning from a word bank is terrific, not a random jumble of words but rather a very thoughtful, well written piece, and i think the meaning behind this poem has great relevance to todays world
    great poem as always shellz

    take care


  • just weak hands
    November 22, 2008

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    ahh now this... is quite wonderful =D the wordbank, even though this is short, fit quiet well. I love how you used it. very creative... the last line hit home. I just don't think you should have created a pause between "of" and "malice". I think it kind of lessened the power of your words. But that's just me.

    One thing- "were" should be "where". Sorry, I tend to be a grammar freak ^_^ -guilty- lol xD

    Such honest, powerful words all laced up in one neat little package. I adore it- simply put. I really do =] excellent job and thanks for entering !


    • letters to no one
      November 22, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      can't believe I missed that, I'm normally a grammar freak too...

      I fixed the "were" to "where" and removed the pause - you're right, it did lessen the power of the words


      Thank you for the applause,
      Shelly

      • just weak hands
        November 22, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        your very welcome =] your poem seems absolutely perfect ! removing the space seemed to have given your poem a whole new meaning.

        wonderful... =]

  • The Jigsaw Poet
    November 22, 2008

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    Really short, but doesnt detract from the quality at all The power given out by so little is a testament to your talent

    Loved it as always

1 - 6 of 6