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Down Memory Lane

When the wind whispers to me
A tune she borrows from the sea
When the sun smiles from above
With a caressing warmth of love
When the rain bathes me head to toe
A sinful feeling I try to outgrow
When nature's fury unleashes her whims
A joy amidst sorrow silently dims
When the trees nod their heads in a trance
I gather my memories as they prance
When the birds hum their favorite song
I join them in chorus singing along
When the road less traveled is a beaten path
And I am in the midst of an aftermath

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • NickNasty
    January 4

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    Personally, I just like the style of this piece. Couplets are hard to come by, for me at least. You not only wrote one, you made it of moderate length. Another task I applaud. I enjoyed the descriptions as well.


  • Raven-Storm silver member
    January 4

    Edit | Reply
    I to think there's maybe a little missing at the end hmm not sure what though lol its a great piece though, have no problems reading, love the background it adds a little something extra to it. Aftermath oh like a cyclone of feelings (tornado) maybe that's how it reads they came, they destroyed ,they left you to it. Pity they don't stay to help you clean up the mess really. Anyway that's my thoughts on your write

  • annie
    February 22, 2009
    Edit | Reply

    My soul awakens, thank you

    I have come from the dead to read with new sight the rewards of your words.

  • Revwilliamfoos
    February 19, 2009
    Edit | Reply
    My life is filled with aftermath tears flow like rivers
    love the rev papa


  • jenelda silver member
    December 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Hi Shubs remember me? Jennie. I bet you're more handsome now. A lovely poem my friend. it's been a long while since we spoke, hope you are well.
    Jennie


  • StarEyes
    November 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Shubs,

    It is good to read something new from you again. This is fantastic!

    Is this done? It feels unfinished to me. Not sure though.

    Great job!

    and love

    Nyetta

1 - 6 of 6