Taking a deep breath
runningnaked
falling
against.the.pavement
watch [the] cracks
s p r e a d
against
the flow of
t.i.m.e
slip (so far gone)
break
without the feeling
until there's nothing left
but sunlight
and frost
Author notes
I wanted to play with words a bit.
iamlost
Amaranthine Lover
In a list
A contest entry
- Best Prewrites From November 2008 by amaranthine lover.
700 points, ended December 28, 2008, 18 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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I like that, it's cool
and it's totally what I do all the time. most find it annoying, but I find it rather effective, so I like it when I see someone else attempting it too, makes me feel not so alone -
wow, I have been there in my dreams,
life can be hard like pavement, stretching in a vast road, that we flail against, breaking at times, melting into the very foundations of life, we become a patch for others to avoid the holes we incurred.Great write~~Artis
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I know what you mean I can relate to this... I also love the contradiction at the end whereupon you use sunlight and frost in the same light of eachother. Very powerful and vivid. Nicely done.
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see how difficult it was typing this, i meant "even" not "ever." oh the typing it never ends....
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Hee hee fail. Well, I be flattered that you typed even though it is difficult, just for me.
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yes see how much i like you. lucky you.
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Kono "poem" wa tsubaraSHI dai yo!!!
Ooh la la Danica-san. I quite like. I love when you do the ee cummings type poems. I could try and think of the word for them right now, but that would be ever more difficult than typing this. -
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Well, I often love writing them, so I'm sure we can work something out. Hee hee. Yay! Ore no poem wa subaraSHII da yo! Oregami!
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lol yes. ore wa. damn ouran. erm yes i likes teh ore-gami too.
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nice piece, simple but rocked..
keep it up..
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