Oh God
the trust which I do have in you
perceives to me very potent
albeit, sometimes I am suspicious about me
since while supplications, I am eager
about the other maneuvers of the greed
and the commerce of my life force
interrupting connection with you
the wildlife inside me
eases me in an outright approach
teaching to me that
"hey! Carry on
who cares God ?"
and I am at the shock
watching my own profile
with this trickiness of an animal
Oh God...
A contest entry
- 20-100 words -59th Contest/Quickie/No PIF/ by Spiritualangel by spiritualangel.
650 points, ended December 23, 2008, 17 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
hGod...
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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albeit, sometimes I am suspicious about me
since while supplications, I am eager
about the other maneuvers of the greed
and the commerce of my life force
interrupting connection with you
It's good. I like it. Best of luck. -
Love the picture. Your "wildness" is shared by many, I assure you. And I think that God must have a sense of humor. He created me afterall.
Write on, poet.
Blessings,
Myth -
Wot the...
...flipping 'eck are you on about lad?
Also, spellcheck and grammarcheck - which is a bit cruel as I see it's your second language but hey, you're using it, so do it right!
NB Not intending to offend, just being totally honest!
R. -
I think we are to overcome the wildlife inside.
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Simply excellent
the wildlife inside me
eases me in an outright approach
teaching to me that
I like this part of your poem the most overall it was very very good
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Ah, but the "animal" within is also HIS, and given those 'instincts/tricks' for a purpose as well. I love the view of the struggle in this write...the mirror, if you will, of watching one's own activities and being surprised or 'shocked' by oneself. We are complicated creations we humans...Best wishes in the contest, my friend. Peace always, Rhonda
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Well said, got quite a lot out of this read, thanks for sharing and good luck in the contest lol
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