This is me... Loving You...

I’ve been sitting here thinking
pondering all of you
So lost in thought…
unaware of all around me

I don’t think I’ve ever thanked you
thanked you for all you’ve given up…
because you liked me?
I don’t understand.

You’ve tried changing so much
all for me?
I feel like there’s an obligation
One I can’t decipher from a darkness

I’m in a state of confusion
questions burning in my mind
Desires fill me
…I hate the façade I hide behind

One curiosity stands from the crowd
a star in a sea of black
Efforts of hiding my question
frustrates me to exhaustion

I’m so different than everyone else around you
surrounding you now and back then
As the “good girl of God”
It’s hard understanding your attraction to me

Passion is overwhelming
a feeling I could never deny
The amount I feel for you
breaks my heart

I’m at a loss for words
at the emotions you fill me with
with a slight touch of hand
the world is gone and all I see is you

A single smile in my direction
lights up my heart
Your stroke of my cheek
it sends a chill down my spine

I close my eyes
reminiscing on moments in the dark
remembering stolen kisses
entwined fingers…

With a deep sigh
I disentangle myself from the memories
and travel further down
our unfamiliar path

Hesitating
I glance down a branch in the road
overshadowed by intertwined limbs
symbols of the trials faced if the way is traversed?

Nevertheless
that road is inviting
Despite the ominous presence
I feel a longing tugging at my existence

For that sense of rebellion
a forest not often traveled
The feeling of urgency at mutiny
attractive more and more each day

I stand at that fork in the road
and glance in your direction
looking for approval
not wanting to ruin what we have

I search for so much
but know there’s no hope in finding it
What I seek for is a sinner’s release
a saint’s curse

Longing for more than a touch
more than just a kiss
how is possible I lust so much
these unfamiliar emotions….distracting

I’ve wanted to tell you how much I care
more and more each day
but the feeling of neediness
holds me back

Been there, done that
its not something I want to be
been there, done that
it’s not something I want you to feel from me

So in a wrap of this excursion
I plead you understand
I pray this doesn’t push you away
I fought with myself to let you know

So this is me
pouring myself at your feet?
Like I’ve wanted to for so long?
This is me…

…Loving you…