unfamiliar faces
wearing history
and smiles that
never-quite-reach
their eyes
frozen by
overzealous gloss
and stacked side-by-side
like the dead
a trademark of
timeless nonexistence
A contest entry
- Photograph.... by kiwigirljacks.
700 points, ended December 1, 2008, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
This is a draft - be as harsh as you like.
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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This hopefully is about fashion photography or something, as I really hope family albums aren't full of smiles that don't reach the eyes and timeless nonexistance! Yet... perhaps they too can capture such things! Excellent take.
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Hood Winked!!
Great take on the contest prompt. Those albums that collect dust and pictures of people and memories that are never really looked at till the faces become unfamiliar or they belong to those who have passed from this world.... Your title collectively brings them together held within the pages. Nicely penned I like the way it has made me stop and think. good luck in the contest.
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This made me laugh. I like your fashion commentaries, I really do. I've never heard smiles (of that sort) being described in that way but it seems like the best way to do it. I liked how harsh and almost 'overzealous' (if I may use that word) this was. Cheers
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"wearing history"
==>wear history? I think that sounds snappier.
S2 <==why can't that be joined with S1??
Anyways, the idea of an unfamiliar face with history is well...very insightful. It makes me think of time travel, for some reason.
"nonexistance"==>'nonexistence', with 2 e's
This makes me think of skanks on Facebook
with the same frozen poses.
!
Good luck
;
Jessica
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I had 'wearing' because they had no choice - to me 'wear' has an element of them choosing to wear something ... S1 was separate because it was setting up without any negativity, where S2 started the judgement ... the spelling mistake was just me being silly ... I'm so glad you have smilie faces
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An intelligent and well-written response to the prompt. I like particularly the phrase "timeless nonexistence", which sums the theme up neatly and precisely.
Good one,
Bill
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Good Write, Polly!
Very strong images created in 29 words.
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Once again, a very clever poem. The second stanza is by far my favorite. "never-quite-reach" - sounds like just a photograph, indeed. I like how you capture the lifelessness of photos here (can I go cry a bit now? just kidding. or am I...?)
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wooooo!
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thank you for being excited!
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