I bury my emotions,
But they keep
clawing their way
back to the surface
unbidden…
Time was,
I had control over them,
So why am I now
a serf to their
impulses?
Its happening
more and more,
breaking my heart
needlessly…
What’s wrong with me?
The fallen Angel
embraced the Demon,
betrayed by a kiss
that conspires
my self destruction…
Avoidance of destiny,
tempting fate,
one time too many…
Warping reality
in a distorted
parody of life…
What is happening to me?
A bitter, jagged pill,
I swallow hard,
hoping it cuts
and poisons every tie…
Memories fade,
replaced by delusions
I crave
more than life itself…
Someone crept into my mind
as I slept,
changing all the locks
in my world…
Walls closing in…
Wounds won’t heal…
The dead keep talking…
Reality keeps changing…
Make it stop, please…
This is not who I am…
This is not the world
I fell asleep in…
Subtle strands tweak
the edges of perception,
defined by all that is lost…
The tapestry unravels,
changing the picture…
And I become the demon
in my head,
reflecting a stranger’s eyes
in my own blade…
Who am I?
Author notes
Number 2, mint choc chip...
Pic from
http://SindelChaos.deviantart.com/art/Sybil-42344036
In a list
A contest entry
- I Want You to .:.Scare.:. Me!! by DecorusApparatus.
550 points, ended January 5, 31 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - BRING IN THE DARKNESS by lovingpoet.
745 points, ended April 5, 34 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Picture Inspiration by Firequeen.
700 points, ended April 27, 22 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dark writes contest!!!! Check it out by SuicidexEmoxKitten.
450 points, ended May 17, 71 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
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This was great, and I felt each emotion. Congrats on the gold, you deserved it.
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Memories fade,
replaced by deluisions
I crave
more than life itself....
This whole write speaks volumes
but that is my favorite stanza
EXCELLENT write you have penned
Thanks for the share
Aleshia
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AHHH this spoke to me
I loved it.
Insanity takes it's grip and we forget even who we are.
The confusion was wonderful it added to this.
amazing write
Thank you for your entry
Fire
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good write I like it thank you for entering the contest
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what a write. i like the idea of how you penned your poem and made it easier for me to read. it was a fast reading, and makes me think about several friends of mine who share the feelings you have. thank you for letting us to experience what it's like to be in your world.
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This is a very well written poem. The emotional expression that you have used was very easy to identify with and I found myself nodding along to the things that you said. There was a huge quantity of ideas here, alot for one poem to bear and many of these could be expanded further too!!
"This is not who I am…
This is not the world
I fell asleep in…
Subtle strands tweak
the edges of perception,
defined by all that is lost…"
I think that this was my favourite verse although I enjoyed the whole poem very much.
Thankyou very mush for entering this into my contest.
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Love the 'someone crept into my mind' verse. A very disturbing idea.
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THis work is very interesting, in it's subject -on it's face- and in it's execution....I say that cause it sounds "Executed", stammering and cutting like a forced gasp. My favorite line is the one regarding the changing of your locks.....that one wound my clock.
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thanks for your entry
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love it my friend
This is not who I am…
This is not the world
I fell asleep in…
Subtle strands tweak
the edges of perception,
defined by all that is lost…
hmm I have that same feeling -
Excellant Writing!
You are a survivor. As you keep asking yourself these questions you are aware that things are not as they should be. Therefore you are in controll amd will prevail. I love your words they reflect the pain you feel in your every day life. I can't imagine how strong you must be to continue but you have and as I said that makes you a survivor. God Bless you and Stay Strong. Jo-Ann
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It must be so hard!
I do catch glimpses myself of what you go through. It is a bitter pill to digest, let alone to swallow! Very nice poem; I could feel the agony therein!
"The tapestry unravels,
changing the picture…
And I become the demon
in my head,
reflecting a stranger’s eyes
in my own blade…"
What a fight we wage with ourselves.
Best of luck in the contests!
-
the world you fell asleep in
Memories fade,
replaced by delusions
I crave
more than life itself…
Someone crept into my mind
as I slept,
changing all the locks
in my world…
a master word-crafter at work, oh how I love your inked refrains
-
I can so relate to burying ones past and trying to go on. But as you know the past always creeps back in. I do not suffer from schizophrenia but many other mental disorders caused from years of horrid abuse. I will be praying for you my dear friend that you will find peace one day. As I keep searching myself. Thanks for sharing hugs Theresa
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As one who has had personal battles with schizophrenia (my stepdad has it & it has nearly killed him more than once), this is frighteningly close to home, particularly the last seven lines. It is terrifying to be someone that loves a schizophrenic, I can't imagine how challenging it must be to live with the condition day in and day out. My best wishes to you.
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okay, I have to think about this one. . .not sure what to say but I will say this is powerful, friend poet. Your use of imagery is fascinating and chilling at the same time - I really like the image of the serf in line 9. Hmmm. . . chilling job!
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Powerful
"This is not who I am…
This is not the world
I fell asleep in…"
What a terrifying image this conjures. How awful to be trapped within your mind in a place you know isn't real.
This is so dark, so personal and so very moving...... Yet even in such a black place you still manage to write with intelligence and emotion. It just goes to show that true talent is unbreakable.
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Great Write
Questioning reality and finding some answers and finding yourself and who you are in the process.
I think if more people would sit down and think about where they have been and where they are going they would see the trip they are on they were traveling sleeeping. Afraid to open their eyes, afraid of what one might see as truth turned out to be a lie, when someone opens the door to let some light in to exspell myths and demons we run to the dark knowing if we run to the light we will be naked and answer some hard truths. Great write my friend keep the pen dipped in ink.
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Is this the rawness of truth ?
Its deep and I feel reflects so much more
The fear the sadness, the loss, and the emptiness that wants to be for filled...
Lost in thoughts, and a trigger, even maybe small , bringing it to the surface to write this wonderful piece of poetry.
Best wishes my wonderful friend
Julie x
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Every now and then
I read a piece that knocks
me out of my chair,
leaving me stunned and speechless
with jaw hanging stupidly open.
I hope my that say's what
I cannot...
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Fritz...
Oh my...this is so deep to swim within...what worries me the most is the reference to falling asleep and awakening to a different reality...the kaleidoscopic quest to make all the colours paint the pictures before the new canvass splashes and splatters...I sincerely hope that purging these thoughts onto paper helps you shape and shift them into another dimension...I know you regularly write in the genre of the dark...but this seems to dive deeper than usual...drop me a line if you want to chat...bout cherry papers or this and that...a fragmented reality isn't fun my friend...I hope you are soon more in the frame of mind to write one of your humouros writes...the seven dwarf syndrome ...the manopausal thesis...still makes me smile...
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Wow, you weren't kidding this is pitch! And deeply penned, the battles with the inner demons aren't always easy and at times of weakness they can win..I love the imagery portrayed here, dark and gritty, beautifully done! A wicked read hunni
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