As the last I checked
Its been a while since
Since I took a dare
Not just to look and stare
But to walk along with you
Believe me its easy
In my mind your kind
On the eyes your fair
I guess in the end
you never cared
We caressed and kissed
You didn't know I'd fall
I didn't know you'd drop
tumble or fumble my heart
i thought you held tight
even in the event of a scare
or scary site
never to see the pump of my life
going downward toward the ground
knowing the peices will not be found
I only want to know
why you let it go
go so far I broke
as fragile as a china doll
breaking upon you leaving
just as the seasons are changing
i'm brave and free
Just when my heart breaks
upon these sad piano keys
Author notes
Jesse Joe Drye the picture
A contest entry
- PIF Weekend Quickie by ChunkyC.
800 points, ended November 24, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
lost in my own land
Comments
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Absolutely beautiful. Sounds like a sad story. I hope the person you care about so much will come back to your life.
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I really like this poem. It's has a really good meaning behind it.
never to see the pump of my life
going downward toward the ground
knowing the peices will not be found
Favorite lines right there. Amazing wording, I like the "pump of my life". Truly original. Thanks for entering and good luck! -
This is a uniquely written song of love and heartbreak, Jesse. The emotion, sadness is delt throughout.
I like the ending stanza... and the whole piece works well with the picture, too.
Good luck in the contest
Dee


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You know what, this poem touches my heart in a very sincere, personal way. This song speaks kind of how my husband feels baout me sometimes. I'm nto the most Publicly affectionate person in the world, but I do try-but sometimes my trying is kind of sloppy so it makes him think that I don't care. that i'm just tossing him around.
And through this song....I'm beginning to see why.
I'm so glad you wrote this.
Poem: to me it seem original. Some songs like these repeat the same old things-but you found a unique way-I think-to say things. It's very visual. Like while you are reading hte words, you can see the pain and the action take place.
I love the last part:
i'm brave and free
just when my heart breaks
upon these sad piano keys
best part.



