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less fortunate?

before the sun rose
shifting out from under my
cold cardboard castle

shuffle towards the
shelter for a real breakfast
than back to begging

on those cold streets this
Christmas morning when
our world was saved

A contest entry

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Comments


  • Ginger Woods
    December 3, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    It could be longer, with a bit more detail, I like the opening though "before the sun rose shifting out from under my cold cardboard castle" it's interesting to make a box into a castle but it shows how much it means to have anything. Thank you for your entry, and good luck.