Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Checkmate

 (a dedication)

 

 

Take your dice and roll motherfucker
Lady Luck says “game on”
snake eyes see into your soul (so sad)
you never were a king, just a pawn

Playing Life like a game you control
but this time I brought the rules
no more aces in the hole (you’ll see)
Boardwalk is lined with fallen fools

Go on with your Trivial Pursuit
trying to find what never did exist
buzzer says that your time is up
so bend over and give that ass a kiss

You should be Sorry for the shit you’ve done
I know your not and that is quite a shame
you took the Risk (now Im pissed)
and I’m about to beat you at your game

 

 

Author notes

Not my usual writing, but Im pissed.....oh, I love boardgames too, lol

Bullies are such cowards....and I have bumped into one who met his match.....Like I said....Game on.

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 36 of 36
  • mz.butter
    December 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    I know thats right

    Whats good for the goose is good for the gander,they want to bring a game,show them how it's played.


  • Rend the Veil gold member
    December 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Gold worthy!!

    this is Fantastic!! a wonderful write!
    I am going to book mark!!

    Blessings

    Rend


  • lilAj
    December 4, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    goodness!


  • Rovingone gold member
    December 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow! You sure told someone something. Well, they deserved it. I can't imagine why they'd want to do something to make you so angry but whatever it was, they got theirs!

  • Poetryintheblood gold member
    December 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, this was riveting not to say the least so well worded, thanks for your entry, Josie


  • Ellis gold member
    November 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh My, apple pie
    Mom and the flag.
    Words here, sighs
    my learning lags
    Words here I don't know

    I will have to study more
    learn these words; won't be a chore
    I'll take this poem to church Sunday
    and let the elders show the way
    I love for my vocabulary to grow

    Tiki Cat
    Buy Tiki's Gourmet Cat Food
    "Too Good For Humans"


  • Patpowers silver member
    November 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Same here GAME ON JAMIE!!! Thanks for sharing this and expressing your feeling. My thoughts are with you!


  • Blueskywonder
    November 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Game on indeed! So you are somewhat of a vigilanti aswell as poet
    The metaphores in this piece are good and so too intensions, but by lowering yourself to the ignorant mind of intimidation you have lost the game. The game is dominoes and we topple each other onto the floor of suffering. An amptheatre of survival... the only way to beat it is to rise above it... help others achieve emancipation, rather than being a tool for suffering
    Great write... well deserving of gold


  • Disturbed Prodigy
    November 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    you know i kind of wonder what made you write this, i there had to be a lot of people in mind, but i love this poem, you put them in their place, keep it flowing and good luck in the contest


  • Preacher
    November 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Games, Games, Games

    What the heck, who pissed in your cornflakes today. I'm sure I'll hear about it Tuesday. Loved The poem, I feel your rage.

  • dillpickle62
    November 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Holy Jeez...

    I came over to complain about lack of new poetry when to my surprise! Haha... Love it when your pissed. Well... not at me Hahaha.... Holy Jeez this is a wonderful poem.
    You kick ass girl! Best wishes in this contest. Keep'em rolling I'll keep reading.


  • DD Sai
    November 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    AWESOME

    LOL okay not only was this poem entertaining but it was just.... awesome. I loved every minute of it. Great job dude.


  • Pisces Pieces
    November 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is brilliant! You can definitely feel that you're pissed It's so creative and the boardgames have been incorporated perfectly.

    It's a mistake (obviously) to underestimate those you bully, one can only be pushed so far! I'll look for updates

    Excellent poem, the flow is excellent and I love the little side notes/thoughts, they have an amazing effect!

    ♥


  • Peteskid gold member
    November 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You are better at this than I am, this is artistic when it wants to be, and in someone's face the rest... very nice...hope it made you feel better too!...PK

  • fillurhands
    November 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Being a poker player and gambler in general, I can definately relate to this. I see this is a dedication - to who? Great Job!


  • Sgt B
    November 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Very strong.

    Sometimes life can feel like a game that you have to WIN!
    And at the end of each day scores are tallied and you wait to see how you did. Competition at every level of life to include the work place make for a harsh place to live.

    Bravo!

    Job wel done my friend.

    PS love the way you fit all those games into this one.


  • butchbec
    November 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I love it. the "corrosive vocabulary" just makes it all the more powerful. It flows perfectly, and never skips a beat. looks like that bully is going to have to pull their head in i love how youve linked it all to the metaphor/simile of the boardgames. excellent!


  • Exit-Stage-Right
    November 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    It's a striking comparison... the sweet face in your photo and the rancid tone of your poem. To write is cathartic for sure, but hopefully once the anger has been diluted by time you'll come back and soften this somewhat for all audiences. There is so much "G-rated" goodness throughout this that it would be a shame to leave it tarnished with corrosive vocabulary for very long! Anyway, three little clappy c*ck-s*ckers for the parts I liked


  • CanadianGirl1
    November 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Well most definitely this is deserving of gold, you did soooo well with this. I love the anger it holds and the "in your face" so to speak... more Bullies need to meet their match more often, and reallly be put in their place. Fuckers!
    You did great describing it, and I absolutely love that you used the boardgames as the "premise" I like them too...

    And if you haven't guessed my verdict is:
    Great Write!


  • She burns
    November 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Powerful and strong here, how I can relate when you said about the bullies, how it made our lives hell, sometimes we just want to kill them, and your words here are just the true weapon to destroy them, make them like the shit that they are...


  • faderman1959
    November 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This was great! You tell him and you beat him! Show him really good! By the way using all the board games in the poem was genius! A really nice touch!


  • Raptur3
    November 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    WOW, you had me from the first line. Well said miss, I feel sorry for the person this was dedicated too. The whole snake eyes bit, I loved that.Ur emotions hit me like a ton of bricks. Way to curse em out! I though this was downright sexy for lack of a bettr word, hell u shud write mad more often LOL. This deserves more applause than 3. XD


  • Sushi Darville
    November 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    AWESOMENESS

    I LOVE the emotion in this!!!
    Everyone knows what its like to have a bully and that angry felt towards them.
    Not always do we get the chance to take the bully down a few pegs.


  • aboomer silver member
    November 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    WOW - great wording, impact, emotion - well done! I love how you've done this around 'games', as that is what those bullies play.
    Great write!!!
    best wishes in the contest.


  • Note The Sarcasm
    November 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    ooh. I like it! I started reading it, and it seemed like it could be the lyrics to a song. The band that came to mind was Breaking Benjamin, so as I read, the guy's voice was like echoing in my mind. Very, very good write!


  • petalblue2
    November 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very creative! What a fantastic way to vent! Hmmm....maybe I should try this, a little more productive than my usual efforts of venting! Thanks for the write!


  • Cynthia Gaines gold member
    November 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Brilliant!!!

    Wishing you the best of luck in the contest!! Peace, Cyn


  • Harlequin Dance
    November 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Hehe...nice. I like how you managed to put in all those board games, and did it very well, too. I'm just wondering, if it's all board games, why is the poem called Checkmate?

    Like your poem a lot


    • BehindTheShadow
      November 21, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      It could be because checkmate is the phrase you say as you are about to win a game of chess, hence, chess is essentially a board game...it all ties together.


  • cricketjeff gold member
    November 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You are right, not your usual style, but superb!
    The imagery is startlingly effective and the whole piece hard hitting and wonderfully constructed
    I like it a lot



  • islekine gold member
    November 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Whoa Yeah!!! LOL

    I love it Jamie!!! Long time no "see"...I am going to have to pay more attention to what you're writing these days......this is awesome...I so love it...I usually don't share with my old man...but he liked it also.....which is REALLY a compliment...he's harsh!!
    lol
    Best wishes in the contest...though I'll be surprised if this isn't Gold...or at least Silver.
    Write on and on!!!


  • SulfurFiend
    November 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    interesting...

    i found it very entertaining how you used so many games to discribe your situation...very cleaver.


  • poppa
    November 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    hell hath no fury huh ? wouldnt matter how, you always write wonderfully, and Risk is indeed a magic game...
    good luck in your contest


  • BehindTheShadow
    November 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Well, I love when you are pissed, and the boardgames worked into this write is brilliant!


    • BehindTheShadow
      November 21, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      That did not come out right, I love the anger that comes out in your work when you are pissed, I'm sure you understood...

1 - 36 of 36