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Author notes
This is an original tune composed and vocal performance by my friend Steve Smith.
If you too would like your lyrics turned into a real song his email address is
steve@musicsmith.co.uk
http://allpoetry.com/poem/4513311
video by Quill
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 32 of 32
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The way the you made the listener wait for the line "everything would be right" so that the word right fell on the downbeat and the minor chord was just beautiful.
"I hope it cleans out all the words I'm sure they never meant..." That line is ridiculously gorgeous.
This song is just awesome. Great job. Really.
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A very touchin write and wonderful lyricz i must say
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Aww. I hate it when people walk out on their husbands/wives. I hate it so much. I love it!!!
Dax
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The lyrics are so sad and so true, the children pay the price for our mistakes. The singing and music are great, too and this is a good idea, if only I could write music and not just words.
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So sad. I really like the rhyme and just the sound of the guitar...it makes kind of a meloncholy echo sound. Nice job although a heart breaker.
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loved loved it!
heart breaker!
impact and power
in it's innocence and unfolding!
way to write and inspire us!
ears/Seattle
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Aww this is beautiful. It's so sad
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You have a good idea here.I have one of my poems recorded by a friend and I love it.
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thanks
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Sad but absolutely beautiful and original. I really enjoyed that. Thank You for that, although it is a poetry contest.
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Never mind. I clicked on the link in your author's notes. This is a really emotional piece. I know a lot of people can relate to this, including me. Thanx 4 entering. - cgirl0410
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Um, I can't see anything. Sorry. Can I get the lyrics? I don't know if it's my computer or the site. Either that or can you tell me where else I can find the song online. Thanx!
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as sad as it is
it is truly lovely
beautifully gone
I enjoyed this very much
God bless you my friend....
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A damn good lament - soulful and bluesy. I enjoyed the video presentation. Happy trails neighbor.
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I have to judge contest
I am sorry you havent gotten back with your poem for the contest
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Wonderful
I truley enjoyed listening to this, it has a beautiful sound, and I think that your friend should continue his works -
quite impressive
good song nice sound
thank you for sharing
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Amazing!
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well done!
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daddy left because you cry
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I LOVE this. He has sucha soothing voice and I like the lyrics and images alot
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.....I WISH I HAS SPEAKERS!!!! =[ i dont even have headphones unfortunatlly. but im sure from all the comments u have that this is an awesome poem
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perfect
don't chane a thing
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Such a sad poem/song repeated by all to many children.
Well Done....Best wishes in the contest
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Ohhhh...I would really like to listen to this but I only have a dial up internet service so I can't...sorry.
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Extremely touching ... sensitive .. and honest... Can feel the pain of wishing for something that seems to be out of reach... Thanks for sharing .. Good Luck!
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The octave is different btwn. this and the other version isn't it? Hmmm...I think the other works a li'l better with the tone of your original poem, bringin' out the solemness better. At any rate it's cool.
I hope your enjoyin' the weekend. 
, Dannie
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this is just soooo sad, reality for a lot of people but just so sad. You sing and play this well great job..
Cyber Artist
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Humm..an intimate poetry with an intimate rythem along musical work ..just innovative and beautiful task..congrats..
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quill, this is so cool , i was very glad to finally hear this.. it must be very exciting to have your words put to music..i liked this write especially in the first place..thanks for sharing this with me and please keep them coming..i very much enjoy your writes....... Jennifer
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The country and western music is perfect for the lyrics, and the child's view of the break-up of parent's marriage is very well realised - sad without being too sentimental, and totally authentic with the child blaming themself for the problems.
I'm very impressed with the quality of the recording, and the standard of the music and vocals. That, at least, is one happy marriage!
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Good one
I love songs that tell a story and this one did just that.
(Thanks for the info on your music man, been looking for one for some time now).
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