i want fierce like the kind that comes out
during pissed off moments and looking great in a new outfit
the kind of fierce it takes me
to stay in bed
or leave it
depending on the situation in hand
could you really
be more than three weeks
if that
and
could i really
except anything more than that
if you did stay
love turns ankles and elbows
until the contorted image before you
falls and only a dummy could understand
it all
lie down laughing
sleep smiling
and wake weeping
even if you cant see
my thank you is pale
so i dont use it
instead i wait
for you to say
something more than
black and white
A contest entry
- empty pack of cigarettes drizzle on the window & the pair of gloves you left behind by Rembrandt Clarke.
875 points, ended November 24, 2008, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
-
thanks for entering my contest,
i felt alot of power and emotion behind this write, you really packed it in, i especially thought the last line was a really strong image, things going back to black and white, i enjoyed that... however i just thought that some of these lines needed some looking at, especially the first, i just think you could tighten it up a little and really create an even bigger impact. -
I like the willful vagueness of this write. And, by the way, if you want fierce, you've got it like few others on this site. The third stanza of this is gonna stick in my mind for awhile.
Excellent words as always...
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