I see her hair smooth
as my breath getting recomposure,
comb many things
but simultaneously millipede
centipe step core of love
not multitasking weight
gym's bristled dumbbell
I won't pull you over with tug
neither watchfulness of bosom
only but what hands should
or open for insight
so leave where my lungs can't
yet with my willingness signature,
brush film of ferment for meeting
shared richer than coconut water on
squash seeds carnitine rather than napkin against drool
that made grandma clap;
me, know I used to want woot now I what
while her walk is constantly like slippers~
or became similar to farsighted
observation foreign
from outside to in
an old palm meat out of shell
is delicious, also looks like an autumn leaf...
summer knowledge for pregnancy
is over scene and miscarriage appeared as wet footprint
instead of live flesh toes versus woes,
often I'm as a reclining bike pedal chain jus spinning
A contest entry
- shuttled into oblivion by Melissa Gayle.
1000 points, ended December 2, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
please leave off good luck, unnatural emoticons, applause symbols...hypes
Comments
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I think maybe there are too many images in these stanzas -
though I do love the imagery. This piece immediately reads a bit abstract to me because of the images.
Rereading, I see the emotion and the subtle story that lays behind the words.
It is interestingly done. -
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Melissa Gayle you enjoyably gave feedback for how it slid negative
thanks, I guess I can't briefly fly for fullness of fall believable... but there is a proverb that says even honey at a certain quantity can make us vomit.
I appreciate the open eyes that need balance of not being overly stretched,
called Carolyn
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