Never true,
I'm counting on you.
Erase me please,
Forget about me.
I've taken your slashes,
And bruised your bloody ashes.
Distinguish me;
Count to three.
1...
2....
3.....
Enough.
Its not enough.
Author notes
I would like the think this is about my hatred for how inhumane society is towards one another... in 30 words or less lol
A contest entry
- fed up by going nowhere.
1400 points, ended November 22, 2008, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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thought provoking... the counting to three made me think of my mom and when i was like 2... and she would say, by the time i count to three...
then she realized one day, that if i waited for the counting to obey her, i really wasn't obeying to begin with... things changed. too bad the same thing can't happen in society. thank you -
gives one a lot to ponder, a super write! If we could only change humanity single handedly hey? Best of luck in the contest! peace...ocean.
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leaves ya thinkin lol. it said 30 words or less. my poems are usually super long.
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wow. i love
And bruised your blody ashes
that was the best line out of the whole poem! Its a great poem, with amazing potential, but i got lost on what you trying to say. The emotions I got, why you wrote them, and their meaning I did not
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I love the last two lines, "enough is not enough". But I would definitely talk more about what makes you feel like that, what that person or those did to you...You might have intended this to be really short but this could be really cool if you expand on it a little..
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