institutions built upon the
moving islands of free space
corruption's greasy paws nibbling at
the entrance too each mans soul
life is slowly moving a blotted sterile insect
constantly on parade
too lovers sitting on their diseased romance
tongues locked together like strands of barbed wire
holding hands praying too conviction
fools in a paradise of grey
marveling at this unknown romance
the insect yearning too be a disaster
a false god or open infection
the spirit of lust chained too the kitchen sink
breasts sagging eyes empty
birthing a world of miseries
unpaid bills and pastel shades
of jealousy
licking her wounds clean as the lipstick
traces fade
processed regurgitated 100 times
a shell molded from the needs of aggression
hate pity isolation
the insects gather in their thousands
too feed on this yolk
each maggot snuggled up inside
the pupae of pulp romances
and Hollywood wet dreams
growing on the disintegration
of each happy ending
the food of love rotting in the
feast halls cant be reheated
in case of poisoning
sex is all thats left on empathy's plate
swallow the barrel starve too an empty space
the cycles of lust is all that remains
A contest entry
- Tell Me The Truth by BarbedWireButterfly.
900 points, ended December 23, 2008, 28 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Reality vs. Illusions by Suicide Hotline.
700 points, ended December 28, 2008, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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Very interesting. I started reading this thinking it wouldn't hold my attention but found it surprisingly good. There are a couple of spelling errors, there is also a bit of punctation loss. Such as capitals at the beginning of sentences, but some would regard that as a technique. Thank you for entering and good luck.
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good write but doesnt fit the contest in my view
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A lot of interesting visuals in this poem, one of my favorites being "tongues locked together like strands of barbed wire" seems to have a very industrial flavour to it. Your voice is clear and consistent throughout the whole piece and I can feel the flow despite of the lack of punctuation. I suggest going over this for spelling mistakes though, but it is very well written.
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thank you very much . i will rewrite it with punctuation and correct the spelling mistakes . Thank you so much for your criticism and the compliment
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