In the shadows of solace i lay
untouched, unafraid, broken.
Oblivious to all,
what is, what should be, whats next
You had to meet me there, just on my peripheral
and promise me light
promise the world, salvation, dignity
But I have none. and you cannot give it
It has to be found, says you
and I search.
Touched, Afraid
Broken.
Author notes
the fools we were i think its called. or the one with fools in the title (im sorry bad memory) is a really great one and i loved it
so thats just my lil suggestion
A contest entry
- Options!!!! Anything goes. by Jaffa-.
550 points, ended December 10, 2008, 52 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything :] by Jasmine Rayne.
1200 points, ended December 2, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Standing in the shadows by Just a poet.
1000 points, ended December 5, 2008, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Sad and thoughtful poetry, Thank-you very much for the entry
JaP
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This is such a sad piece, but really great. I how you chose to end it with the opposites of what you previously stated. :]
"You had to meet me there, just on my peripheral
and promise me light
promise the world, salvation, dignity
But I have none. and you cannot give it
It has to be found, says you
and I search.
Touched, Afraid
Broken. "
So powerful. Your words leak beauty and originality. Thanks for entering. :]
Peace
-Lily♥ -
I really liked it. Very individual The flow was brilliant and the language almost breathtakingly perfect.
Good work and good luck in the contests -
This is a very good write love the use of words
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Good write! I like the way ou wrote it , lots of comments to show the agony. Good luck in the contest!
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a very deep right. You have talent! Good job
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