When the world turns black
And the sun hides its glow
When the streets are empty
Of the people you know,
When the door stands locked
In front of your face
And you realise you're lost
Within this place.
When your heart beats too fast,
At the drop of a pin,
Though you know you're alone,
Fear builds within
And you hold the tissue beneath,
Waiting for the blood to arrive
As you slice into your skin
And you bleed just to know you're alive.
Author notes
"8. And you bleed just to know you're alive (Goo Goo Dolls)"
Edit; I took out the funky layout of it as the first two commentators didn't like it, and I myself wasn't sure about it 
In a list
A contest entry
- Lines from Songs 25 PROMPT Contest by Paloszoo.
700 points, ended November 30, 2008, 12 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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The rhyme fell apart just at the last line, and it seemed forced at the beginning of the poem. The emotion is pure and very, very good though. Tweak it a little and you'll have an outstanding poem.
Best of luck and thanks for entering! -
Hahaha, I was definitely thinking of Goo Goo Dolls. It's been like what, over 10 years, and I'm still not tired of that song. I don't normally like rhymed poems but this is very good.
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This actually reminded me of something I wrote awhile back. Especially
the part about cutting to feel anything. Have a look sometime down the
road when you're done with your contest...
Razored Sorrow
http://allpoetry.com/poem/5055035
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Very dark and telling tale my friend. I can see the pain in you rwords and the images are dark as well. Great piece..
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A deep & emotional piece...
Compelling narrative with a tick-tock rhyme scheme that added to the mournful depth of the piece...
Another great piece that enthralled throughout...
Keep up the good work...
Well done!!!
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Heart-wrenching melancholy...
Beautifully written... Congratulations on the Emerald Cup!! Peace, Cyn 
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This is so god-awful a subject. Excellent writing, but wrenching. I hate to think in someone's mind this could contribute to justifying cutting.
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A great little piece. The song line is one, which I can relate well to, so your poem is identifiable with me. Very nice. Thanks so much for taking the time to enter my contest. I’m honored to have you show your work here.
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A very compelling poem. A good take on the prompt, and a clear explanation of why people cut themselves. Good luck in the contest.
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My gosh Symphony!
Such a labyrinth.
Coincidentally, i got totally lost in the story here... you told it so beautifully. The layout would distract from the actual words, if they weren't so amazing.
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thanks dudeo! I'm not too sure about the layout myself either; it was a bit of an experiment to be honest. i might try taking it away again I think and just having them written normally.
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Great poem, I really enjoyed it.
The layout doesn't work for me but the writing is simply amazing. -
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Thanks Fixsius; I'm not too sure about the layout either to be honest. Think I might just set it back to normal ... but cheers for commenting
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