Days blur,
weeks pass,
months
become seasons,
dying a little more
each year…
Control becomes
an illusion
I hide behind…
Smiling
to an uncaring world
as rigor-mortis
sets in,
numb to my tenure.
When did restraint
begin to elude
my grasp?
When did he begin
to see
through my eyes?
Slipping
through the cracks
of my waking mind…
I felt him coming,
yet I did naught
to discourage him…
When did I give up?
When did he become
so strong?
Waiting in the wings,
wearing me down,
waiting for me to slip…
Is illusion
all I have left?
The pretence that I live,
one foot in reality…
Stood on the threshold
of my downfall…
So lost in my dream…
Hyde is awake!!!
Author notes
CHALLENGE 1
In a list
A contest entry
- IF YOU LIKE UNIQUE, COME HERE, EVERYONE WELCOMED by badnovocaine.
900 points, ended December 3, 2008, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - making you scream by snakeprincess742.
400 points, ended February 12, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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i understand complay the feelings and emotions , cus iv got an ivsisable person called james that twists the way i see the world , i understand the fear the feeling of unable to control it good work campred it perfectly ~
-huglles-
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thumbs up
Control becomes
an illusion
I hide behind…
how true my friend how true
-
Wow, what a chilling piece! I think we all have a darker side to ourselves, and this piece encaptulates the extreme of this..... most atmospheric!
I just love your vocabulary choices in all you write, and this is no exception. The audience doesn't so much "read" your words, we consume them.
Again, another remarkable write.
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Wow I read this out aloud to absorb the impact and it really did hit home.
The way you took this journey with that one foot.. already there.
Best wishes in the contest hun
Julie
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"I felt him coming,
yet I did naught
to discourage him…"
This in particular gave me a chill
I love it!
You should consider publishing
I'd buy!!!
Awesome write!
Good luck!
-
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Wow! I love this! My new fave me thinks
Could certainly feel the darkness crawling over me as I read, fantastic work hun, I will wish you luck but sure reads like a winner in my book! 
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This is awesome Fritz!! I could feel the battle of the mind here.. I know it well!
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A wonderful title drawing you in to a mind twisting piece, great!
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Pure awesomeness! I adore the title. That's very clever, and it correlates beautifully with what you're writing about. For simple words, they portray a powerful message, and I like the slight abstract-ness (?) I got while reading. Very lovely. You should do very well in the contest with such a great piece!
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Haha i loved the title of this, and how you ended this, I knew right away what you were talking about. This is great.
Control becomes
an illusion
I hide behind…
Smiling
to an uncaring world
as rigor-mortis
sets in,
numb to my tenure.
----------
I really liked those two parts were really good use of metaphors but I liked the rest to. This was just all around great and had a certain vibe and flow to this piece. I think your the only person so far who has done challenge 1 as well.... so this gave me something different. Kind of had a certain fear factor added in as well.
Thank you for entering this in my contest.
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This is a fantastic trip into the realm of insanity!!
i love the way you worded this, a matter of fact, with fear trailing somewhere behind
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