among weep of willows
my saddened shadow waits
A contest entry
- In eight words by Lavender Butterfly.
550 points, ended November 20, 2008, 20 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Constructive critique please.
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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Eight words! That has to be the shortest work limit I've seen so far.
Nice work and congrats on your bronze trophy.
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Excellently done. The tone was wonderful; the darkness was present; the emotions tapped on the rim of my imagination. Eight powerfully joined together words. Bravo.
AsIThink...
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Among the weeping willows my saddened shadow waits...I was thinking about these words and a memory came to me from childhood. I was told that if a spirit should fail to go into the light that it would entwine itself around a weeping willow tree, eventually inbed itself in the roots and become a wrath.
Your words here are few, the meaning of them deep.
God bless you wise woman
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I am so very humbled when one expresses that my poetry invokes a poignant memory of more words, spoken and/or written.
Thank YOU Dear Sister.
Your comment holds a very spiritual message from the supernatural;
"if a spirit should fail to go into the light, it would entwine itself around a weeping willow tree, eventually embedding itself in the roots and become a wrath."
Do you mind my asking who shared this enlightenment with you?
Renee
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Poetic words from a poetic soul. Loved them!
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eight very..
strong and moving words, I don't know how you did it! excellent.
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Well...at first I had a dozen words. Then, I took out the word "she", then, the word, "it",
changed a word here and there, and basically...I think that's how it was done. 
Thanks doll!
Renee
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As few words as there were, (i know it was for the contest) they were still very powerful. I really liked how the words just fell together perfectly with the image, creating one powerful thought. Great job!
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Well I thank YOU for such a generous comment!
Much Love & LIght ♥
Renee
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Yes. I see you there... very poignant!
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I know that you know that I know that you know...
Thank YOU! ♥
Renee
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I think that I have been on this road a couple of times in my life and perhaps have even seen those trees myself.
Best of luck in the contest
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This may be a road most have traveled, even in childhood. Thank you for reading and commenting.
Renee
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beautifully creative... x
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THANK YOU!
Much Love ♥
Renee
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