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don't block the light

Missing image



among weep of willows
my saddened shadow waits













A contest entry

Constructive critique please.

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 15 of 15
  • Judith Chandler
    December 6, 2008

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    Eight words! That has to be the shortest work limit I've seen so far.

    Nice work and congrats on your bronze trophy.


  • AsIThink gold member
    November 24, 2008

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    Excellently done. The tone was wonderful; the darkness was present; the emotions tapped on the rim of my imagination. Eight powerfully joined together words. Bravo.

    AsIThink...


  • Jalalbad gold member
    November 21, 2008

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    Among the weeping willows my saddened shadow waits...I was thinking about these words and a memory came to me from childhood. I was told that if a spirit should fail to go into the light that it would entwine itself around a weeping willow tree, eventually inbed itself in the roots and become a wrath.
    Your words here are few, the meaning of them deep.
    God bless you wise woman


    • poetryality silver member
      November 22, 2008
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      I am so very humbled when one expresses that my poetry invokes a poignant memory of more words, spoken and/or written.

      Thank YOU Dear Sister.

      Your comment holds a very spiritual message from the supernatural;

      "if a spirit should fail to go into the light, it would entwine itself around a weeping willow tree, eventually embedding itself in the roots and become a wrath."

      Do you mind my asking who shared this enlightenment with you?



      Renee

  • Jalalbad gold member
    November 21, 2008
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    Poetic words from a poetic soul. Loved them!


  • Swangrnv gold member
    November 20, 2008
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    eight very..

    strong and moving words, I don't know how you did it! excellent.


    • poetryality silver member
      November 22, 2008
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      Well...at first I had a dozen words. Then, I took out the word "she", then, the word, "it", changed a word here and there, and basically...I think that's how it was done.

      Thanks doll!


      Renee


  • PurpleEmoFoofCheese
    November 20, 2008

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    As few words as there were, (i know it was for the contest) they were still very powerful. I really liked how the words just fell together perfectly with the image, creating one powerful thought. Great job!


    • poetryality silver member
      November 22, 2008
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      Well I thank YOU for such a generous comment!


      Much Love & LIght ♥

      Renee


  • arafura gold member
    November 20, 2008
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    Yes. I see you there... very poignant!


    • poetryality silver member
      November 22, 2008
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      I know that you know that I know that you know...

      Thank YOU! ♥

      Renee

  • Kari gold member
    November 20, 2008

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    I think that I have been on this road a couple of times in my life and perhaps have even seen those trees myself.
    Best of luck in the contest


    • poetryality silver member
      November 22, 2008
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      This may be a road most have traveled, even in childhood. Thank you for reading and commenting.


      Renee


  • Lavender Butterfly silver member
    November 20, 2008
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    beautifully creative... x

1 - 15 of 15