Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

No one notices...

Missing image

 


Lonely and  fragile she awaits
a gift not wrapped in paper,
a present money can’t buy…

Anxious thoughts,
little prayers and tiny worries…
a few wishes…

Time rushes by…
Them..to busy
preparing Christmas habits

...so no one notices
the innocent little girl
only longing to be loved…

 

 

 

 

 















 

Author notes

Christmas time...I guess just a double meaning I wanted to share...

Wolf Mistress

In a list

A contest entry

No one notices...

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 16 of 16

  • Verdeboy
    November 28
    ?
    Edit | Reply
    This is a very sad write about a lonely little girl.

    I feel that this stanza is a bit awkward:

    Time rushes by…
    Them..to busy
    preparing Christmas habits

    Perhaps change to:

    Time rushes by…
    Everyone busy
    preparing Christmas habits


  • amaranthine lover gold member
    January 22
    Edit | Reply
    a nicely written poem you have here


  • redhanded
    December 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    aw very nice write you have here. thanks so much for your entry and best of luck to you in this contest and in the future
    andi
    (redhanded)


  • 245Trioxin
    December 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    For me it was Chanukah, but it means something to me as well. watching all the other kids get so excited about the holiday (not that I wasn't excited about mine) but there weren't any Jewish family's in my town. I had no one to share the excitement with, no one to talk to.

    Kids (and ignorant teachers) can be cruel when you're not like everyone else, when you have different beliefs despite the fact that the bottom line is exactly the same.

    It's an isolating feeling that transcends the years, but I wouldn't have it any other way.


  • dustookie2
    November 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh you have pulled at my heart strings .. i enjoy the poem but the emotion.....Not putting my head in the sand have walked this street a time or two The shame of children who have to suffer at this time of year when all children should feel love. Absolutely brilliantly penned.


  • Canis Lupus
    November 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    aw this is really sad, because there are so many children like this...

    A really touching write


  • Debbie Hansman
    November 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    The hopes of a little one...it touched my heart.

    The picture stands perfect in this write.

    debbie


    • Wolf Mistress silver member
      November 22, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      I was in awe by this picture ...and the words just came with it

      Thnxs for the nice comment my friend, I do hope you will get lot's of presents filled with Love...

      XXJeannette

  • Warrior7
    November 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very well written Jeannette, a sad piece but this is something that happens often.
    Good work


  • JeannieD Hunter gold member
    November 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful. It is very well written so that it does present duel meanings. The picture you used works wonderfully and emphasizes your poem beautifully. Thank you for entering and good luck


  • Beating gold member
    November 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Dear Sis!

    Great to see a new poem by you!
    First off, in this line:
    "Them to busy"
    Shouldn't it be "too" instead of "to"?

    Other than that, i really felt your every word, and I loved how you brought innocence and adult feelings together. Quite beautiful, though sad. Good job!

    • Wolf Mistress silver member
      November 22, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thnxs Birgitte, I am glad you enjoyed this...sometimes a picture and a subject can give lot's of imaginations wich are also a truth in life...

      ( and about the " to " I'm not sure......i changed it into> Them..to busy, it's from being to busy....well, don't know for sure)

      XXJeannette


  • Sweet Impatience gold member
    November 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    My 3 Little Moons this is beautiful, heart touching and I love it. Christmas time does have more than one meaning for many of us, especially children that have no one. and even for the ones that have families, but don't have the love they so need to feel. this is beautiful and definitely tugs on the heartstrings, ok yanks on them really hard. I can relate to this.. a long time ago, I was that little girl..

    I love this poem of yours, the imagery is outstanding and vivid. You did a fantastic job on this

    good luck'
    kat

    • Wolf Mistress silver member
      November 20, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Awwww thank you so much..I'm sure I was that girl too, not even that long ago I guess....maybe always to stay...
      And i do hope I have taught my daughter another meaning about Christmas too...

      XXJeannette

1 - 16 of 16