A wave of relief soaks into my blood
when I know I can look you in the eyes without
my heart rate increasing inside of my chest
we were foolish and instantly attracted like two white doves
with our necks bent uncomfortably to try to define love, but
we took a dangerous U-turn as soon as our hearts reached lust,
[but we were only saving ourselves from the rest]
& I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss how we used to be, yet
I've taken two steps forward, and sometimes I take that other step
backward, only to recall how it used to feel when you'd look
at me that certain way; & somehow we inhaled reality and injected
common sense into our veins, so the vibes between us changed
from 'infatuation' to a more sensible waste of time.
[sometimes I wish I wouldn't have held my head so high,
so you could've been a witness of the bullets I used to cry;]
& I've choked on my over-bitten tongue again,
as I lay awake counting the days until I don't think
about it [you] anymore, & I wonder if you'd push
me away now, or if you'd only show me the door,
and maybe you haven't noticed that I've been moving
on from every mind-boggling and distinctive memory;
[because you've become so hung up on wondering
if I'm lying when you question me what's wrong],
that you didn't realize that when I'd cough up my
heart to huddle closely next to yours,
I really needed you here to keep me strong
Your scent is cradling the fabrics of my jacket sleeve
and I'm afraid washing it off will eventually wash you away.
I once pressed my fingers into the pressure points of my face
to prove to myself and the world I was better than this,
so don't try to memorize the way my lips say your name
or the way I smile inconvenientely when you've got me
standing in another awkward position, and I know it
devastates you when you have to mask your pain behind shame
but you can't pretend to pretend with those eyes that
could give anything and everything away.
sometimes I wish I would've followed you to that impetuous place
so, even if just for a moment, your arms could be my escape;
& you've become so hung up on wondering
if I'm lying when you question me what's wrong,
that you didn't realize that when I'd cough up my
heart to huddle closely next to yours,
I really needed you here
to keep me strong.♥
Author notes
Day Three: emotionXxXoverload inspireddd
personal♥.
A contest entry
- 7 Days 7 Prompts by stargazer..
750 points, ended January 3, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
feedback would be greatly appreciated :D
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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"we were foolish and instantly attracted like two white doves
with our necks bent uncomfortably to try to define love"
I lovelovelove that line. The imagery in it is insaneeeee!! This is stunning.
I'd applaud, but I'm all out of clappies, so when I get more I'll come back!!
♣ Tegan -
Phenomenal ending
This was a fantastic poem Amanda
This was great
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OMG, THIS IS SO SAD, AND IT MAD ME CRY, THIS IS REALLY REALLY GOOD! KEEP IT UP GIRL!!
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oh wow.......ummm.....yeah u made me cry....this was great....i have been there before....thanks for this one
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...This is really good...very, very sad, and it strikes be very hard at the moment, due to my own personal situation spiraling down at this very moment...Great write, as always. I appreciate the post.
Tod.
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Oh, hoe, this is soo much pain in this piece, it almost made me tear up. I love how you always write with such raw emotion. I've tried my best to understand how it was between you and him, but ya know, I can't see inside yer mind [despite our telepathy at random times, ahaha], and with this poem I really got a sense of how confusing and painful it was..all of it.
"we were foolish and instantly attracted like two white doves
with our necks bent uncomfortably to try to define love, but
we took a dangerous U-turn as soon as our hearts reached lust"I swearrr lust is the biggest misconception of all. It's like you know what you feel isn't love, but it's more than just physical attraction. Maybe we should call it 'friendly lust'? Hahaha, oh geez, I don't know where my mind is tonight. :] ANYWAYS enough of my babbling about nonsense stuff you don't really wanna read, lol.
I loved the description of "two white doves with necks bent uncomfortably".
"that you didn't realize that when I'd cough up my
heart to huddle closely next to yours,
I really needed you here to keep me strong"Those lines made me soo sad for some reason. Aren't we all looking for someone to lean on, whether we really need them all the time or not? YOU ARE SO MUCH STRONGER THAN YOU'LL EVER KNOW, I PROMISE, :] I also loved how you ended the poem with that.
"Your scent is cradling the fabrics of my jacket sleeve
and I'm afraid washing it off will eventually wash you away.
I once pressed my fingers into the pressure points of my face
to prove to myself and the world I was better than this,"Not quite sure why, but I really liked those four lines. You ARE better than this!! No one deserves to be tugged in every single direction.
And also, the couple of lines that were in brackets and italicized were very powerful and intense and truly portrays your emotion in a beautiful way.
Love this one hoe! Keep writing and you are strong and I KNEW you'd get through this :] <3
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