I could never mourn you
I should cry later, I just won't do it today
Maybe tomorrow, I will feel the sorrow
you leave me here with black roses and memories
I laughed at your funeral
I remembered all the things, you used to say
This is the only eulogy you'll ever get from me
If you were here today next to me
I couldn't ever find the right words to say
So now your gone forever
First you left me in life, now you leave me in death
Before they closed your casket
I place black roses where your heart should have been
While I think of now and then
I have realized, they really the same
I feel so ashamed, there was never a place for me
Before now, it was something I could never see
I'm standing in the crowd, but I'm drifting out to sea
I was just a stupid kid
Always on the outside, looking in
I wanted your heart and for there to be a 'you and me'
But now I realize, it was nothing more than just a dream
I want to hold you now, ever so desperately
But all I have left of you, are black roses and memories
What did you think
Comments
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Deep
I feel that this is a complex piece, illustrating anger, pain and elation at the same time. The narrator appears to be hovering. The lack of punctuation at the end of sentences suggests that all these feelings are a constant flow in which he/she gets lost in- brought home by the reference to the sea in stanza 3.
I like how you've structured the poem... as though giving it stages. Happiness first, then anger and then pain. Your imagery makes the reader contemplate the transition from one feeling to the other. Great.
I like the continuation too, using the title.
Just one small thing: "I have realized, they really the same" in stanza 3. Maybe it should be "they really are the same" or "they're really the same"?
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