The razor blade rips apart the skin
The pain I barely notice
The blood red pearls drip down my arm
Leaving a revealing trail on the skin
Tiny cuts all over bleeding
Make my mother cry
But I neither notice nor care
I have my own pain to feel
People tell me I'm crazy and stupid
They wonder why I never heal
I simply stare in reply
As they walk away in disgust
The razor rips the flesh again
As red tears that match my own
Drip down; Sink back into oblivion
As I wish the pain could do
Author notes
Option 4... woo hoo! contest!
A contest entry
- What pain hides deep Inside of you? by XxTwiceDisturbedXx.
700 points, ended November 19, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me your Best Poem Ever! by PianoMan.
1000 points, ended November 28, 2008, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - supermassive black hole by JinSays.
629 points, ended December 8, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - How do you deal with....? by Lonely Christina.
900 points, ended December 4, 2008, 40 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Angry?!! Show me just how angry you are... by starving-to-survive.
1250 points, ended January 25, 89 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 23 of 23
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nicely done
The Imagery is hair raising if not disturbing but I like dark poetry of real pain. You captured that with a fierce aggressiveness I loved the poem. You have talent I look forward to reading more soon ........
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GORGEOUS, I truly loved it, really really beautiful. So emotionally charged it made my hair stand on end. Truly exceptional.
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Love it! It goes with my poem "Nobody"!
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The razor rips the flesh again
As red tears that match my own
Drip down; Sink back into oblivion
As I wish the pain could do
Wow. I've never been a cutter. Self-affliction in other ways, but never a cutter. The last stanza, to me, pretty much sums up the entire message of the write, and why you do what you do.
Great write -
Nice Job
I loved this. i love the detail you put into it. Its really sad but thats what makes good poems. Emotion. Im normally a fan of rhyming poems but this one i like anyway. It tells an acctual story and conveys feeling. It also gets on the other side so that people unaware of this kind of thing can understand the reasoning. Good Job!
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Keep Writing!!!!
Wonderful poem. It left me wanting more. As a fellow "Dark Angel," as Messedupmarionett puts it, I can understand. This was a good picture of what's happening. The idea of others walking away, dude I have seen that literally happen right in front of me.
Old wounds is a deep concept. It seems your poem requires complete attention to every word. Good job.
"red tears that match my own" I have often compared blood to tears, I love how you incorporated this.
If possible, I would like to see this poem go on for a bit. I know that can be a lot to ask. In one of my poems which I'm not going to name because it might seem like self-advertising, a reviewer completely misread the context of the poem. They thought that I was trying to be creepy, and thus they decided that it needed more input to paint a bigger picture to creep them out. I wasn't trying to be creepy, and the poem is complete without need of revision.
I could see this poem of yours going on for a while, but, if you, the ultimately most important viewer, thinks it complete, don't worry about it.
Since this poem is one of the few that makes me want more, maybe that's good for promoting your other works.
Best of luck, and keep it up!!!
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Very amatuer. Extremely rudundant and an all around bad poem. You'll never win a contest with such a mediocre poem like this.
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Wow, this is brilliant. I can feel your pain so well.
I can really relate to this more than you probably realise.
My favourite stanza of all has to be 'Tiny cuts all over bleeding
Make my mother cry
But I neither notice nor care
I have my own pain to feel'
I can relate to this brilliantly. You have managed to express yoursef just perfectly.
Thank you for entering my contest it means a lot, and if you ever need to talk i am here.
I think it is important for you to know that you are not alone in this difficult place you are in at the moment.
I just hope that you find peace within your self soon.
You do not deserve to be hurting so bad.
You have so much talent. Keep up the good work
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Really beautiful wording. I liked the way you set it out. It flowed very rhythmically. Great subject and it seemed very heartfelt and full of emotion. Great write and good luck in the contests.
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the third stanza reminds me so well of people and their reactions. sometimes as they walk away in disgust, i get disgusted that they would even walk away. good job!
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wow
this was such a great poem
i loved the most the third stanza
the poem itself was really good
great job
xXalyXx -
This is an interesting piece. I think that, if you really mean this, it's a very revealing write. Unlike a lot of the cutting poems I've read, this one doesn't seem to glorify in it's own tragedy--with the second stanza, the reader is able to see the main character as someone that isn't the traditional, beautiful "Dark angel," but rather as someone that is wrapped up in her own world in an almost selfish way.
My major critique would be the overuse of the word "skin". It's a short poem, and so I think it makes the poem sound kind of awkward to use it more than MAYBE twice.
Thanks for entering! -
Thank you for entering this contest, I wish you all the best.
Love,
Jin -
wow i like the vivid and real description of cutting. good job and good luck
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To me this poem tells the story of a person who is going through a really hard time in their life and is struggling with everything they do. They have lost all positive outlook and it is our job to help them heal the wounds that time has inflicted on them. Well done and thanks for entering my contest!
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Well, the imagery is a bit redundant but you did try to show and not just tell, which is more than I can say for many people. I admire that. Poetry is a vision set to music.
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this poem is really good. I can feel the pain that you write in the poem. I can relate to this. good luck in the contest.
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thank you!
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yw
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wow this is so sad, and painful, but yet well written, i am not generally a fan of cutting poems, but this is very good because it flows, and tells a story, and doesn't come off as cliche best of luck in the contest
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sweet! and yes, a lot of cutting poems are cliched, and i was hoping it wouldnt turn out liek tat... im glad you liek it!
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i dont agree with the subject
but
''blood red pearls'' was a great line -
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haha ya its my fave too!
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