Broken on the inside
bleeding all torn apart
In pain I confide
now wish I didn't start
In pain these words I write
in blood to show you what's real
I know it isn't alright
but this is really how i feel
Don't question what I do
it isn't your concern
You didn't care did you
now I guess you'll learn
My skin decoration is real
it is meant to last
This is here and it's real
get used to it fast
My pain is an echo
of what I feel
My death is slow
but it's for real
When you see this don't ask
it's my skin not yours
Everyone wears a mask
and everyone loses their wars
My blood leaves a stain
as it drops to the ground
Ruby-red droplets of pain
as they fall and don't make a sound
What did you think
Comments
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Know why would you need to revise such a great poem like this!?!
It wonderful in its steady rhyme i love these two lines 'in blood to show you what's real
I know it isn't alright.' that is just wonderful and i also enjoy this part to 'Don't question what I do
it isn't your concern
You didn't care did you
now I guess you'll learn' that is so powerful!
In the end great poem I just loved all of it!
Keep in touch,
xxx
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i think this is really sad, but very powerful, i'm not sure that i would change anything in this piece, it's not cliche at all, and i didn't really notice any typos or anything, i think it's already a great poem!
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awsome. you'd have to be crazy to revise. keep it this way.
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I dont this poem needs any revising what so ever. It is beautiful in orginality and unique in steady rhyme. I liked it very much.
Silvos.
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