The land around her forms a frozen waste
Against the snow her crimson beauty shows
She stands erect as though precisely placed
The winter needs the beauty of a rose
A stranger passes wrapped against the wind
And pauses when he sees the single flower
The petals seem to be so thinly skinned
But still stand strong against the winter's power
And you, my love, are like the perfect rose
A beauty in a field that's cold and bare
The passion in your heart so brightly glows
That suitors come to see from everywhere
When I am sure that all my dreams are lost
I think about your beauty in the frost
A contest entry
- WINTER ROSE by Rhythm Child.
550 points, ended December 2, 2008, 20 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me honestly what you think, good or bad.
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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I have to agree that you must consider your timing of rhyming to become truly shining. But good use of descriptive vocab - you did create strong imagery
thank u
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A strong one - good technical power, although the rhymes are standard. I like it.
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Thanks for reading me such a gift. I loved this piece from line to amazing line.
I love you
Tory
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oh...i love your metaphor for love and beauty...and the last two lines are just divine ...lovely write
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Ooh this I am smitten
with frostbite I'm bitten
just like a curled kitten
I'm warm in your mitten!
Superb romantic write you really do have a lovely way with words Jeffkins
Bumpy xx
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Beautiful. This is the perfect love poem. It speaks so strongly about the "love." Amazing write. Good luck in the contest.
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wow such a beautiful piece of poetry, great take on the prompt, you ave really told an amazing story, best of luck in the contest
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great entry
thanks for taking part, wishing you luck would be an insult to your talent so take care
message me for anything
Billy (Rhythm Child) -
I think of your beauty in the frost. So many suitors to see the vision of a precious Rose upon the pale winter's blanket. Lovely poem my friend. Good luck in your contest. ~Sie
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You have penned such pulchritude in as much as the sonnet its self. I love to read your work out loud because it simply flows like silk.
Love,
Amera♥
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