Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Right about now

I gave up, so I sit thinking

you should be burning in hell,

right about now,for the pain you poured on us,

caused by another woman's lies.

I''m thinking it'd serve you right.

However,

I'm too nice to wish

eternal damnation upon you.

I'm thinking though lately,

I'm not far from it.

 

Arrogance doesn't become anything more than a fool.

Can we both agree?

 

Foolish, wasn't it?

To think I'd give your

selfserving and completely false resentments

the satisfaction of beholdening me?

Come back to you, and HOPE you'll forgive me?

Forgive me? For what?

No thanks, love this color doesn't suit me.

Obligatory? I'll pass.

As I said, take care. . .

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

I bled.
Whatever.
If it doesn't fit, toss it.

A contest entry

yes, but what do you think?

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 11 of 11
  • Eusebius
    November 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Short, and cogent piece of poetry that, again, makes too many of us nod in understanding...another deft verse from you most practiced hand!


  • Immortal Obscurity Greeters member
    November 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    There is such honesty in this write; it's very in-the-moment, and if the subject-matter is what I believe it to be, then I can relate completely. Well done, and thank you for entering.


  • Nevel
    November 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I think you too close to bleeding now, watch a few days and edit the poem. The emotional content is obviously, however your sentences can be stronger, speakable by adding imagery, I know you are good at it. Mind and feelings should co-operate, balanced. Your title says it all. Don't forget to think as a poet
    Good luck and take care.
    Erwin


  • Wandering Woodchuck silver member
    November 19, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    It sounds like you told someone off that needed it. Nice job.

    Mike


  • Swangrnv gold member
    November 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    yeah..

    and good riddance sucker..there I said it for you! excellent, powerful controlled anger piece..I'm feeling this, my poetic lady friend.


  • KayJay
    November 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Your words belie your feelings... you want him to burn... you need him to burn A wonderfully emotive write filled with the strength of a woman who knows herself... and her heart. Excellent write and best of luck.
    Ken


  • oceanbluize
    November 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    great use of emotion hun, I like it..."I'm too nice to wish

    eternal damnation upon you.

    I'm thinking though lately,

    I'm not far from it."
    That's the good stuff right there
    love, ocean


  • adsaige
    November 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Well, there really isn't anything I could say to this piece, other than I felt like this for a long while until I realized that the only person it was really going to affect was me, and I was going to be walking around in a funk for days on end...It helped me come back to myself, thankful that I had enough reason to just smile and accept what life gives and takes. It is the way of things. Of course, now I wish the best, knowing they will see the error of their ways and what was lost. They will in their own time, and they all come crawling back. It'll get better as long as you let yourself accept things and move on. Brilliant mom, good luck in the contest.


  • Disturbed Prodigy
    November 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    a interesting poem but still a good one, it was something great to read, keep it flowing and good luck in the contest

  • mcfreeman
    November 19, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    I think the phrase

    right about now has the kernel of a good country song in it.

    http://allpoetry.com/poem/4788941

    I steal lots of ideas from everyone.


  • Sweet Impatience gold member
    November 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I think that you did a great job here sissy.. bleeding comes in many forms you know.. I love this one and I love you

    good luck

1 - 11 of 11