I'm in need of someone who cares
Someone who will listen
and not mind getting into my affairs.
I have been so down and out,
My life is in shambles and
Not even enough to care about.
I am constantly in tears,
You drag me down and bring
out my worst fears.
I know now that i have been decieved
you hide in me , hide in my head
How on earth were you conceived?
You call yourself a master of disguise,
But i know you, i can see you behind my
own two eyes.
This disease you inflicted upon me,
I leave you no doubt you have total control,
But i can face you and force you to leave me be.
I fight you with all my might,
Sometimes you win, sometimes you fail
But i am here to tell you i will be alright.
Author notes
Sitting here thinking of how this panic disorder has taking over so much of my life, And i have to describe all of the details in the poem.
Just in need of someone who knows anything about panic attcks.
Someone to shed a light in my darkness would be greatful.
Thank you so much.
-Mandi
I have reviewed the link on bipolar illness at the link provided in the contest
A contest entry
- Im Here If You Need Someone That Cares by storiesuntold.
925 points, ended November 28, 2008, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - For my favorites and those that have me on their favorites by whiterabbit..
400 points, ended December 11, 2008, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Bipolar Diversions (The Bipolar Tightrope) by kareneisenlord.
2100 points, ended June 11, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Just some random thinking. :(
Comments
1 - 24 of 24
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Oh, hon I am so sorry for your panic attacks.
I have them also. Is it part of being bipolar? It can be... Yes, it can take over our lives when it becomes all consuming. There are times I am afraid
to go out because of it - especially by myself. I avoid going out as much as possible when I am going through a lot of anxiety. Having a panic attack in public is pretty awful. It can catch us off guard too. We learn to be masters at wearing masks; but, as you say, so does our panic. We need to get to the root of what is causing our panic. One thing that helps me is to think of the worst possible thing that could happen in a situation and if it is really all that bad. I have several coping mechanisms myself. It is an individual thing.
Cognitive and behavioral therapy is good. I have meds for when I really get bad. Otherwise I meditate, try to focus on positive and happy things, be grateful for what blessing I do have, try to live peacefully and stress-free as possible and put my faith in the Divine and that things are going as they should. It is not an easy path. What has helped me is to self-analyze back to the source of my panic attacks. Mine go back to being very young and being terrorized and feeling helpless and powerless. Other experiences in my life contributed further to it - an abusive marriage and my mother's illness and death. The feeling of helplessness and panic that ensues are very difficult to deal with.
Then, when we figure out the original cause, we cognitively realize that we are no longer in that same situation and that we are empowered now to take more control of our lives and ourselves. I wish you well. If you ever want to discuss this more, please do not hesitate to message me. And, if you are currently in a situation that is contributing to your sense of powerlessness, fear and panic; you need to figure out a way to remove yourself from the source. Often, professional help/intervention is necessary.
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I wish I knew what to say,
because I don't know what causes panic attacks
I guess if a fear created by thoughts, I would say stay in the moment with your thoughts, don't pull out memories that cause anxiety or think too far ahead, this is just suggestion.
anyway big
beautifully written
God bless you my friend...
*
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i will take up the callenge to get into your affairs,listen when u speak, hold your hand as we cross the busy highway of despair, ive been there in panic world its immobilizing and the best treatment is writing it out . and u do that so well
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gr8 write
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omg
i thankfully have never really suffered a full panic attack, but i have very special people in my life that have. I thought your poem was lovely, and the description really great, well done you for fighting it. xx
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I have really bad panic attacks too. I ended up being pulled out of school twice--once at 16 and again in college--because of them. Just keep on keepin on! I hope you can find new and better ways to cope (if so let ME know
)
Wishing you the best,
El
P.S: I liked the poem too!
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omg what a write!!
these panic attacks can be totally terrifing and from past experience i can honestly say i do very much understand, well done for faceing your nightmare and writting about it!! and yes you have portrayed it in the right way, a monster that is conceived and where the hell does it come from, it grows like a parasite, you continue to fight this force gal, always here if you need a chat!!
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I've never had panic attacks, but I can certainly relate to the loss of control in ones life. I would be happy to listen to whatever you needed to say. I don't have so much on my plate that I couldn't spare some time to be there when that sort of horror is bubbling up inside. No one should be that busy that they could let another person go through such a time alone.
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:'( awww babe, this poem is so sad. I can relate and understand what you are going through so well. Panic attacks are the scariest things ever. I think i am going to die when they happen, i can breath and lose total control of myself, but saying that, things do improve. I mean when i am in a situation where i feel safe and les anxious they happen less frequent. I try and avoid crouded places places that scare me etc and it helps. I just wondered if you had tried that. I am always here for you hunny. x
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So sad
Well i have not personally had panic attacks I do have a very good ear and am very compassionate, so if you ever need a friend to lend a hand I am here. Such a deep and wonderful poem.
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I want you to know you are not alone. I suffer from panic attacks as well. I am Bi-polar, and suffer from Post Tramatic Disorder. So ya I know what you are talking about. I have suffered for many of years with this. Please if you evr need to talk IM me sometimes I am cloaked but I will answer you. In Love & Light... May the Goddess hold you in her loving arms & help you through this... Blessed Be! ~~Iridessa MoonFlower~~
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I know exactly what you are talking about. I have a panic disorder too and it's terrible. I used to have panic attacks in class all the time and I just had to leave or sit there and try to stop feeling like I was going to die or pass out. I missed so much school because of them. They can really interfere with your life and it's hard explaining that to people that don't have them.
I've had cyclic panic attacks that would last for hours. They're terrifying. You feel like you're having a heart attack, can't breathe, going to die, or going crazy. I'm on medication now for them and it helps so much. I hate having to be dependent on meds but it's better than suffering from panic attacks (though I still get them at times).
I'm here if you ever want to talk about what you're going through. Seriously, just send me a message and I'll try to help or you can just vent.
~Stephanie
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How are you doing today honey
I think we all have this at some time in our life and its where so often the world overwhelms us with so much going on and we feel we cant keep up .Well remember honey their is no speedlimit in life we each go at our own pace and to heck with what others might think .Find your happy spot and move along and always take in the things about you that brings you joy .For we only make this journey once so make it whats best for you and smile know once you find your own pace in life it will be filled with relaxation and joy of friends about and the peace we give to ourself to do it our own way thats what makes each one of us special and loved -
I know a thing or two about panic disorders. Look I wonder is it us for real or is it that this world is a really icky place and we have every right to get that moment of panic. I mean we are not panicking for nothing right? Great poem I am really going to enjoy this site
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You have Panic Disorder, too?
I've lived with it over a year now; I've had general anxiety disorder most of my life, but the panic attacks didn't start until I left the convent with PTSD. Just when I thought I was recovering, BAM! They hit; I still have them, just not as intensely as I used to because I'm on Xanax, Prozac, and Klonopin. That's helped. So has therapy. Most important, though, is having a support group or people close to you aware of the situation you're in, so that you can turn to them or call them for help. Just a note - I never found the rubber bands to help; but peppermint oil in concentrate on a hankie helps me.
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just remembered hon... one of the tecniques i was taught that helped me most was to concentrate on breathing out... NOT in... its your bodies automatic response to breathe in so u cant die no matter how long u breathe out for and panic attacks are made worse by hyperventilating... too much oxygen in the blood... this was the best tip i got i think. the second best was... when ur over it think... well thats over... glad it wont happen again... coz worrying that you'll have another panic attack causes them as well. its a vicious circle. hope these tips help u darlin an that u had the guts to speak out and ask fer help. pm me on here or on one of my messengers... both of which are listed under personal chats in the notice board on the main page anytime u need it... if im here... which i usually am... ill drop anything to help u get thru it.
love and hugs,
georgie,
xxx -
Ok lass...
It used to be bridges with me.....
or elevators...but bridges really hampered my traveling.
I was not always like that....just one day i was driving and got all tense and nervous about the bridge...or the thought of getting stuck on the bridge would just about send me to the hospital.
Here's what i figured out...
It's all the what ifs....
what if i break down...
what if whatever....
it is so easy for the human brain to go to the worst possible scenario....
its natural..
we want to be prepared so we can help self's should things go not accordingly.
but it is just as easy to talk yourself out of it...
first...odds are nothing will happen.....
then i would tell myself that am cheating myself....that i am in control...what i did was made myself feel stupid for my behaviour...and that life is a gamble.. ..
one day something will happen to all of us....you cant live till 92 and fear you will die in your sleep and never go to bed...
you just have to make yourself believe that your fears are foolish ...and the good lord will call when he wants you...nothing that you do or dont do will change your destiny....
So now i drive across bridges all the time...
I'm not in love with it...
but i did not keep me from getting to the other side....
the sunny side...where we all want to be.
I know this probably didn't help...but i thought i would try...
cause your such a sweet person...
and the poem is real good...otherwise it would not make me drown on like this.
Peace Always,
Lowell -
i liek what you have penned here, you have clearly put your feelings out there, i have anxiety issues, but they're not that bad, it's really hard to deal with, best of luck in the contest
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wow, well, despite the fact that you're going through this, I really like it. It's deep, and thoughtful, and apparently true.
Much Love and Keep Writing,
~Your AP Daughter
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This is epic, my daughter has ocd it pretty much owned her at one time, tough shes doing great now, this sums up a lot of how she felt,a really honest gritty write, I salute you, and wish you all the very best life has to offer,
littlefishone
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Hi there honey
My little sister has those and she has been able to control them by understanding her own body and knowing what triggers the attacks . At first she wuld just start not being able to breath she would have something happening about her that she would be fearful of and she would go off .Then she was told when you feel uncomfortable and know this is making you nervous take deep breaths relax close yur eyes and take these deep breaths and think of something wonderful . If it doesnt subside then breath air into a paper sack for you see you are hyperventalating and need to have carbon monoxide from your own breath to help you start breathing right again . Take a tablet and write down everything that makes you feel uncomfortable and let you mind go free and write it all down untill you cant think of another thing to say .Now read over that which you have written one at a time truly look and see what it is that makes you afraid of it and ask yourself now how can that hurt me so I am strong and I can get through this for its just something I didnt understand and now I do . Talk to me anytime honey for today my little sister hardly ever has a problem with this anymore for she faced her fears through her writting therapy you can do this to . Im here if you need me just message me I will return the message with love indeed
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i have to admit, i have never experienced anything like what you describe and I cant imagine what it would be like to go through that, but my sister suffers from an anxiety/panic disorder and I have seen how hard it has been on her, so if ya ever need anyone to talk to, feel free to IM me or something. (sorry if that is weird!)
Other than that, I think this is a really honest and powerful poem, i enjoyed reading it and feeling the emotion behind your words.
thanks for sharing, best wishes! -
aha... we were meant to meet... im an officer on Desperately Seeking Help... http://allpoetry.com/group/show/Desperately%20Seeking%20Help
and i have been through abuse, torture, panic attacks, claustrophobia, agoraphobia, post traumatic stress disorder as well as tonnes of physical complaints... u name it... ive been there and survived... im not saying im healed but im certainly a lot better than when i wouldnt talk to anyone but my husband and kids and i never left the house for nearly two years. even to check the mail i would wait till the mailman was gone... run flat out if no one was around... grab the mail n run back inside. so im always here to talk to... well while im on line. and who knows... i might need to talk to u at times... thats wot the group is there for... you can also post uplifting poems to help other people or just leave a message if ur going through a hard time telling ppl... helps to get it out and we wll all help any way we can.
hugs,
georgie,
xxx -
This does a beautiful job of describing what it feels like to be in that state of anxiety and panic. I went through my days of that but optimisum and love brought me through> Beautiful writing
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