tattered and torn
the last vestiges of humanity leaves
as the last blow hits her
what was left is a shell
capable of feeling nothing
and yet everything
as if she's looking
down at herself being beaten to a pulp
by a man she thought she knew
And yet amidst all the pain and hurt
is hope that one day
it would all stop
that she'll still see the light of day
with her swollen eyes
and feel a gentle touch upon her bloody face
with careful consideration
she looks at her hands
and suddenly reality hits her
the blood is not hers
and she's holding a knife
as red as her bloody face
She smiles
invisible strings tugging
at the corners of her lips
at the thought of freedom
from him, from humanity
no more. she's free
Author notes
Picture Credit: http://asbeautydies.deviantart.com/art/Some-sort-of-closure-60697780
A contest entry
- May I Prompt You? VII - Physical Abuse by Manda Kathryn.
500 points, ended November 22, 2008, 20 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - BEST prewrites; anything goes! by perfectsunset.
550 points, ended April 5, 52 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Whispers of the Muse by SubKitten.
3045 points, ended May 19, 156 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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This is a very dark and well written piece. I think it could do for a bit more description, as it's rather vague in places. But overall, it flowed well, and was a very strong piece.
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Wow.. brilliant write.
So captivating and so powerful.
This was amazing.
Thanks for entering & best of luck
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What a wonderful write telling a story that is all too often a reality. Wonderful imagery within well written words.
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this is such a good poem and you did a wounderful joob my favorit line is She smiles
invisible strings tugging
at the corners of her lips
at the thought of freedom
from him, from humanity -
this is amazing. you did a great job telling the story that too many people live. the scene was brought to life by your very strong imagery. good job. the twist was unexpected though. shocking. =) i like it.
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wonderfully done
the flow of the story is so damn good
your word choice and flow of thoughts
made the scene so alive
[bloody but not gory]
excellent poetry
Congrats on the HM
belle
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thank you.
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Wow thats an awesome poem! I really like the ending!
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thank you.
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Powerful and shocking with a strong theme.
The pain and suffocation is well justified.
My favorite was...
'And yet amidst all the pain and hurt
is hope that one day
it would all stop
that she'll still see the light of day
with her swollen eyes
and feel a gentle touch upon her bloody face'
Congrats for the HM but I think it deserved more.
Thanks for sharing.
Swati
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thank you very much.
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o.O
I like the twist in this! Very well done, I was not expecting it!
Awesome poem!
♥
Thank You & Best of Luck
Stay safe
~Manda
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Thank you very much for the honourable mention. I too was quite surprise with the turn about on this poem. but then I kind of liked that she got revenge and took joy from that fact. its sick and scary .
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wow!!!
The tables have turned! I loved where the story went...riveting! Great imagery throughout...I think your muse made up with you!
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i know right, i think she did plus i don't rhyme anymore. lol free verse who would've thought
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