The crash of oceans foaming roar that works the ear to hear
careening down against the shore, across the Cape of Fear;
of all the noise within my voice the question still remains,
"When I have made at last my choice, will there be that restrains?"
So ventured, I, into the sky on wings of wax, my hope;
ventured, vexed, to only cry; the foul, the fool the dope?
So roar the oceans currents on, as I consider tides,
one more thought, the moment's gone, again, the promise hides.
Once to be the Man O' War that flies the flag of kings!
Oh for capture in her eyes, to be the song she she sings!
Mirrored, my reflection shows that I have made no choice;
detecting her election of some other peaceful voice.
Riptides from that hurricane drive dunes into the sea,
as she resides across the plane, so far away from me.
This crash of oceans on my soul do nothing for my ear,
for in her voice, emotions whole, draw me to want her near.
A pin drop in the tempest heard, a hope against all odds;
hope, it seems the most absurd, that bruises with its rods,
while she has never heard me call, for I have never spoke.
Too shy to do much more than fall, these thoughts make love a joke.
Author notes
I don't know which is worse, being too shy to say "hi" or saying "hi" and hearing laughter...I have learned, no matter what, it's not always laughter...and when it is, it was a "hi" they didn't deserve to hear.
A contest entry
- Word Prompt by Lj-.
700 points, ended December 3, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Once to be the Man O' War that flies the flag of kings!
Oh for capture in her eyes, to be the song she she sings!
Mirrored, my reflection shows that I have made no choice;
detecting her election of some other peaceful voice.
while she has never heard me call, for I have never spoke.
Too shy to do much more than fall, these thoughts make love a joke.
These lines are magnificent; honestly, it's an extremely rare occaision on which I find writing as good as that.
Thanks for deeply enriching this often average website.


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Thank you very much for such a compliment!
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lol you're welcome, It's deserved =]
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Just this one line doesn't seem to flow as well 'just once for capture in her eyes, to be the one for whom she sings.' It's a bit too long for me.
Absolutely brilliant poem, again. Great ending.

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Thanks very much
I had particular problems with that one line, changed it twice before picking a background. Longer stanzas seem to lose me every once in a while, nice catch. I changed the line again...I think it's better and presents more of the thought intended too. Thanks again!
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1 - 5 of 5


