voiceless screams
slither through my parched throat
like serpentine tongues through quicksand.
delirium's downward spiral
into wasted hell's eyes;
the sacrament of violence
bleeds dry, crumbling
as scarlet-fever sunsets breathe orange
into influenza skies.
Author notes
Inspired by this picture:
http://frozenstarro.deviantart.com/art/Body-crumbles-103796180
Option 3.
Title is Latin for "a sick man's dream".
In a list
A contest entry
- Quickie Anyone?? by K a t.
750 points, ended November 18, 2008, 10 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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Good use of alliteration.
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congratulations on the silver. you did well with the prompt. thank you very much for entering.
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"delirium's downward spiral" is most definatly my favorite. I love the flow it brings from your mouth and I just get lost in the play on words. The way it speaks so much in such a little stanza. I really like this write!!
The only thing I didnt understand, until after I saw your note was the title. But that makes me like it even more. A sick mans dream. WOW! I really like this write. Congrats on the silver!!
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whoa, this is amazing laura, so worth the shiny here! you did brilliant your imagery is just flowing out of this. And seriously you did amazing as always darlin!
-kitty~
ps miss you!
<3 you -
A pretty poignant and concisely effective conveyance of the picture. "As scarlet-fever sunsets breathe orange into influenza skies"...brilliant imagery, and impactful as well.
And thanks for the kind review. =)
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Um, dark and beautiful...I am in love with this write, written in a true glutton for punishment write...no apologies, no prisoners, no mercy...
And thank you for the compliment! You are pretty yourself! -
you know, for as dark as this is, it's really pretty!
i loveth it, as i loveth you! ---<3
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Excellent
What a great take on the picture. So very well done. Congratulations on the silver. It was well deserved.
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Wonderful darkness here... a desolate feeling indeed. Excellent.
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this is absolutely beautiful in a dark & wonderful way. the imagery here is brilliant. I love this one so much.. wow. the first 3 lines did it for me.. I so love your poetry so much and you didn't disappoint with this prompt at all.
good luck
kat
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Great write, I love all the imagery of the surroundings and inner pain. What a great beginning, good luck
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Darn you! This is beautiful and filled with gorgeous imagery... Well, there's always silver to try for A really terrific write... Well done and best of luck.
Ken
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I can see how this relates to the pic. Great job and the best of luck to you in the contest!
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