Don't blame me for who I am behind this pen
These words don't mean anything
Except for everything to you
What if we all could feel on a level that's more than steamy windows and scratched backs under the stars
Late night texts that only light the road to bad decisions
What if this no future generation ended its constant sexcapades and drug deals in order to find a new way to feel
What lessons could be learned in high school without STD's and girls to spill all the secrets?
The truth is this world would be nothing without those girls sneaking those too old, too bad boys through their windows.
The late night talk in the dark that will only lead to a broken heart
Famous, Fame, Infamy.
You love hearing how smoothly your name rolls off everyone's tongue.
Too bad none of its good for you.
Too bad there isn't a boy in this town with respect for you.
Too bad its not my job to care anymore.
Thanks for ending a chapter in my life so I could start a new one.
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Believe it or not, sex, drugs and gossip were rampant when I was teenager in the 70's. I guess as time marches on some things remain the same. I loved the line - Late night texts that only light the road to bad decisions - that is really good.
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I can't help feeling that different formatting would help this write. For me, it needs to be broken down into breath patterns - I read poetry aloud, and this reads like prose, so it's a hybrid, neither one nor the other, and uncomfortable.
The other problem I have with it is the change from questions to lecture. If the subject was treated with more poetic device - showing rather than telling, using metaphors etc I think it would get your message over more effectively. -
Brutal.
I really liked the opening, with the imagery gives it a chilly feel. As it progresses on, I can't help but feel as though some of the words here explain not only the way things are, but something a bit less easily noted.
Even if I too make bad choices through late-night texts. That one killed me a little on the inside. >.<
Excellent.
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there are parts of this i adore, and others that i personally cannot connect with.
my favourite part is "Famous, Fame, Infamy.
You love hearing how smoothly your name rolls off everyone's tongue." and "What if we all could feel on a level that's more than steamy windows and scratched backs under the stars" unfourtunately to me the rest does feel like preaching and controlled sexualities. feelings are ALWAYS valid because thats yours, maybe try to concentrate on the emotion rather then the evaluation of others?
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Ha...nice. I like it. In places though, it reads more like a short story or sermon, but that's not too distracting.
Good job.
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