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Intense solo

My eye's swell with tear's as you tell me you’re not coming
My heart break's a little knowing I won't feel your touch
See your smile, hear your voice, and kiss you for a while
I breathe in deeply and protest to myself
Dear, you spend so much time together; it'll be ok to breathe alone
But the thing is you see

You’re everything to me
Your my emotions, my entertainment, my one and only
When I plan to see you I wait so long it seems
I pass the time with homework, unbelievable but effective
I try so hard not to cry when you come home late
Or when your parent's just say no for today

When we kiss a guitar solo sings
And if I don't hear that song every night I fall asleep feeling like I'm missing something
When you hold me close warmth fills the room
And if I don't feel that warmth every night I fall asleep in the cold
When you breathe on my neck I feel shiver's run down my spine and I fall asleep tingly
And if I don't feel that shiver every night I fall asleep numb

My love for you is so intense
I feel my heart ready to burst at the mere thought of you
At the mere sight of you I just want to jump into your arms and squeeze you softly
When I smell your smell of McDonald’s grease, or shampoo on my pillow I can't help but smile, sure grease may not smell that good, but your my man it's your style

So listen real close my big teddy bear
I don't call you honey, I don't call you baby
I call you my JemJem, my lover, my teddy
I know we're still young but it was luck that we're together
So let's let luck play through and bring a ring for me and you

Author notes

JemJem i love you so much. =] , Day five prewrite

A contest entry

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments


  • wohadreambig
    December 10, 2008

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    I really like the emotions in this piece. Well done! Keep up the good writing


  • Stevie.me
    December 4, 2008

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    good job on using the five senses

    I like this, it's very sweet. I also uses the five senses well. I would change the flow though, but that's just my opinion


  • Mistress Leala silver member
    November 20, 2008
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    This is so beautiful and heartfelt. I love it!


  • starving4perfection
    November 18, 2008
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    aww.. its cutee