A Moments Kiss A Vanquished Settlement
Forever Goosebumps in Your name
i Wien on Your thought; Together,
Touching hands.
That Earthquaked silence of beauty
Holding you tight i wont let go.
Forever still.
The're coming now.
i wont let go..
My Life in your heart
Your heart is my life.
You told me we could change the world.
Changing us its done.
Your diamond eyes piercing my flesh now
Your tears of love now drought
a final kiss i send you.
Never Goodbye!
Goodbye
Author notes
i tried to get accross how a perfect relationship can fall to pieces..in the first stanza we see a perfect couple....in the second..."you told me we could change the world" identifies the couples ambitions and hopes....which are not being fulfilled...and in the third...what once was undying love... has now dwindled and ended..."Never goodbye" - ill never leave you "goodbye" - its over
No reflection on my personal life, just words to the page.
What did you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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I like this a lot! My favorite line I think is "My Life in your heart
Your heart is my life." becasue it shows how codependent we become to the people we get really close to. There are a few words that look like they might be typos, (The're, "i" instead of "I") but if they are on purpose- sorry. I just always want to believe that the mistakes or breaks in form are on purpose when I am reading a poem. Over all- wonderful write!
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You make things sound so perfect I love it. I really adore this poem. The most perfect thing can always be shattered.
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wow wow wow
this is such a wowzer (explains the THREE wows) anyhoo... wow. i really enjoyed reading this poem. your lines were of different lengths and the poem flows very well. your last stanza has really intense imagery. brilliant! keep penning
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Great write and I love the end... Dunno if you went for the design of it, but it looks like an arrow that points down and that goes with the downfall of the relationship. Very well done.
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Thanks guys
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whoa, this one has me speechless, its awsome.
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Sad and very well done.
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wow...... i love it.....
it's so true
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wow thats very powerful i feel like im going to cry because its all true you love someone so much you dont want to let them go but if they leav you or something you feel so crushed and dead
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Very intelectual.
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duude, awesome lol. i like the change in tone from the first couple of stanzas into the final one.
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