i want you to completely understand,
that the thing i fear most of all,
is falling in love yet once again,
and in the end have it abandoned and fall.
i don't want my empty chest to hurt like that,
feel so alone and more than just ashen,
i wouldn't be able to live through that pain again,
i wouldnt be able to stand a loss of compassion.
you see these word i say clearly,
please just tell me that you understand what i mean,
understand that i fear love more than anything,
because i fear the one i love does not love me.
please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Very nice. You've written clearly about emotions we all have, or have had, and you've articulated your thoughts well. The rhyming is nice, as well as the "flow", but one thing I didn't think "clicked" was the word "ashen" in line 6. It stood out to me, and I think there's a better word to use than that. But that's just me sharing my thoughts. Thanks for sharing.
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This poem was done really well. You concisely put youe emotions out there with sweet simplicity. Nicely done.
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aww... this is so cute and i loved the rhyming in it. it something that at at least one time in your life you can relate to. whether youve gotten to that point or not. luv it!
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Awww darling we have all been there and have gone through that... its sad and this poem is bittersweet... it takes me back to my own troubles. Just follow your heart if thats really what your going through right now... dont bottle yourself up no matter what you choose there will be a time in your life where your heart breaks again were human and we all get shattered every now and then, its a part of life... anyway i really like your poem, there is potential for more i assume... congrates
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thank you for your comment on my poem! it really helped... and being hurt and fearing the things that we should just run head long into is really a part of life. thanks again!
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sad love
Reecie you need to quit being so sad! xD lol, trust me if I was going through what you're going through I would feel the exact same way. You have nothing to fear...he does love you! He is just being extremely stupid. Anyway...sorry about that...this is good reecie. The un-capitalization bothers me, but I know this is how YOU write your stuff. The last line is the real kicker. You could use some stronger words since this isn't really rhyming. Good job! Keep it up!
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excellent poem....alot of emotion in these words...well done
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