It was 2 am
Somebody had slipped me a Mickey Finn
My head ached and woozy images played with my eyes
I held the wall up and somebody was talkin at me
are you alright ?
I came into focus...and shook my head
It was that Dame I had just met
she seemed over friendly and now I knew
Two guerrillas approached where I sat alone
I could feel the gun in his pocket
I had no choice.. we walked out of the bar...
suddenly a police siren screamed to a halt
complete mayhem and chaos..people everywhere
Confused I stumbled away to a quiet place..a bar
I sat down ...ordered three fingers of black
Outside I heard glass breaking and fighting
Then I saw her...lights began to flicker in my head
A contest entry
- flicker by Death of the Author.
1000 points, ended December 11, 2008, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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I quite like this, though I'd like an explanation of your thought process in your author's note if you don't mind.
Very prosy, but cool. Noirish. Reminds me of Raymond Chandler in a way.
"I held the wall up" - nice
"three fingers of black" - nice
I like the ending, it feels like it'll lead onto something else. Thanks for your entry.
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you know this is something my friend, i loved this poem you did great job on this, keep it flowing and good luck in the contest
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Superb
A bit on the unique side. I rather like it. Chaos, is the way it is spelled. (kaos). Thanks for sharing this one with us.
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