From on high
they look down
and see two lovers
trying something very special
they know about star-crossed
and love lost
J: Doth thy see his gaze of her?
R: Aye, like sparkling wine in a crystal cantor
J: What of her?
R: Aye, her eyes doth shine
like the morning meadow
still wet with millions of eyes
soon to be warmed away
J: Is that the place of their love?
to be warmed away?
R: Nay, warmth gives them strength
to fight the battle mounts
warmth is like steel to flesh
and all that is holy
J: Should we wish them a basket of fruit
to eat on their narrow path?
R: Nay, they have their own wishes
their own basket to fill
R and J: Fair thee well young lovers!
Author notes
My favorite story of two great houses.
My favorite scene..."let hands do what lips do".
A contest entry
- Romeo and Juliet by my02U.
480 points, ended December 8, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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Ah.
Yes. Absolutely beautiful.
You simply move mountains, Charlie.
Myra
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A well written piece with great commentary from those on high. Romeo and juliet set in a situation so vastly different than the real thing yet following the same line. A great idea this poem. It is the first i have seen in this form and was very interesting indeed. The only suggestion i would give with this one is to add a couple of commas here and there to show a change of speech. This wouldn't normally worry me, but it did pull me up a couple of times to go back and read. Wonderful job, mate.
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This is very good - beautiful language, and I love that you wrote it from a point in the future for the two of them! My favorite lines were
they know about star-crossed
and love lost
I don't always know what you mean in this poem, but I liked it nonetheless! This is a great write - keep it up!
Luv
Lovey
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