Wires being threaded through us
Making us see what in from of us
Your lovely eyes staring at mine
Is this fate?
Or is this luck?
Your words stick to me like all my sins
What have a done right
To deserve a guy like you?
You touch my cheek gently
With your finger tips
I'm getting so close to you I can hear your heart beat
This feels right
This feels great
To have someone hold my hand
To never let go
Your lips so soft against mine
Your gentle smile
Makes my heart race
Heart to heart
Moon to sun
As time changes
I feel closer to you than ever
Author notes
Just want to see if this is a good enough poem
A contest entry
- Calling all Ladies of AP!!! Searching for an AP Lover/Girlfriend! by Zenda-Lokki.
600 points, ended December 3, 2008, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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aww...this is a lovely write.
everyone should experience this at least once in their life. great write *rose8
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Apart from a few grammatical errors this poem is real cute. I was drawn to it from start to finish x Thank you so much for your entry and good luck xx
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Thanks
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"What have a done right"
you forgot the "I" in that, and well this is a good write but its very... well iv heard this before, and try to be a little bit more original with this writing, and i like the questioning but you answered yourself at the last part of the poem, its better to keep it a question, if you ask something that you already know the answer 2 it doesnt make much ssence. and please take this as help, im not trying to say anything, but great write. -
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I know I looked at it again fixed some errors I will work on my stanzas thank you
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Is this fate?
Or is this luck?
A great question. Sometimes I would like to know.
Great piece.
Carrie
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Thank u
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