Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Sorrow

He came to her with love undying
Promised her he was not lying

Love enough for two betrothing
Then he treated her with loathing

Could they make a life together
Or would he be this way forever

Bitter memories abounding
Hateful words of wrath still sounding

If he cared he would not beat her
With such ire he would not treat her

She felt she needed something more
Than what there seemed to be in store

She needed warmth and understanding
Not the abuse that he was handing

Through the years her love depleted
All her hopes and dreams defeated

If she stayed could she endure
More of what had come before

So she left but felt no glory
All she felt was guilt and worry

Though she tried with all her might
To keep his memory out of sight

Surrounding her like a curse
This raging guilt would not disperse

Would she ever be forgiven
Would her soul rise up to heaven

Or would she be cast down under
To the depths and cast asunder

But, maybe god would see her sorrow
And send her happiness the morrow

J Lloyd

Author notes

My New Poem is Shades of Green.


stella187

Jenny Lloyd

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • trekkergirl
    March 29

    Edit | Reply
    ahhh a tale that is truly what a lot of people are going through in their lives. Why they stay in a loveless relationship I could never understand but they do. Thanks for sharing this with us.


  • alwaysapartofme
    February 7
    Edit | Reply
    good luck in the contest!

  • Nicole Hanna
    January 29
    Edit | Reply
    .


  • tearfilledsunshine
    January 24
    Edit | Reply
    I luv the rhyming, good job! =)


  • Walk-Free
    December 31, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i felt that the poem overall was a hard-hitting one. which was good.

    but some of the individual stanzas became weak due to the rhyme.

    though i don't deny that other stanzas were simply brilliant in its rhyming and flow!

    thanks and happy new year


  • Titus gold member
    December 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is an account from the observer or narrator. This writer is as such an observer, meaning they observe and become most learned. Here we beseech ourselves a worthy winner here, by first seeing the mistakes or others, then coming up trumps, Your hesiation here, such as a (sou....), at the end, sees you still thinking and making use of that learning curve.


  • ChunkyC
    December 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Hmm.. I said in the rules that I would be completely honest... And I must say, I'm not a huge fan of rhyme.. Because the fact that most people can't hold my attention with it. And this seems so forced.. >.< I hate to be honest.. But it just takes away from me reading it.. Sorry. Thanks for entering anyway.


  • LunaAmara
    December 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for this write. There's a lot of emotion in it, and people do stay in these types of situations.
    Gl


  • ASmileForYou
    December 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This was an amazing poem. It really captures how people feel in these types of situations. They want to leave but they feel that they need to stay with them for various reasons. The rhyme scheme was perfect for this poem and the flow was astounding! Thanks for entering!

1 - 9 of 9