i was 9 months, 3 weeks and 4 days old
he was 3 years, 3 months , 2 weeks and 6 days old...
my mom knew us both, loved us both...hold us both
she wanted to see me, but her wound kept me inside
i wanted to come out, but the strenght was missing
i heard a whisper , an unfamiliar voice came from above
it was warm and cozy, it was my brother's
he said to me in a stroke of love
i want to meet you little brother
come out and play, out and live
i twirled and twisted inside my mom
aching to meet him and to feel his love
my body was numbed, i was nearly gone
he spoke to me again and with tears in his eyes
though i couldn't see them , i surely felt them dry
"come out, i'll love you the most, you be my best friend
my closest pal, the never leaving companionship i so desperately want"
the doctors came, they read my signs
my pulse was weak, my heartbeat was almost gone
and so came a knife and broke my walls
my world was crumbling, i clenched for hope
they took me out, they saved my life...
it was my brother who kept me alive
no doctor nor nurse could see that
but in my heart i felt , the warmth of my brothers voice
the closeness of brotherly love
i yelled, i cried, i was alive!!
thank you my brother, for all you've done
thank you for all your words
thank you for being there
if it wasn't for you, i wouldn't be here
i will always be there for you, as you have been for me...
A contest entry
- Brotherly/Sisterly Love by Crazy9Piano8Freak.
600 points, ended December 15, 2008, 57 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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This is so cute. I mean I would never have thought to write anything like this - I just love how you took yourself and put you as not being born yet, but you knew that your brother was there for you. Wonderful job!
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well wasn't hard coming up with the idea, it sort of based on my real birth. so when i read the contest that instantly came to my mind, that's why i think it came as strongly as it did.
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is very good!!
It´s a very cute history I really like it and enjoy it. -
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HOLY CRAP!!!
this is awesome!! you finally decided to join this page, i'm so happy you did!, and thanks i put some effort into it, and it was somehow personal so yup...
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wow this is a very unique take on the prompt, i never would have thought of this in a million and one years, best of luck in the contest, it was fantastic!!
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i reckon is not the most used theme for the contest, but i'm glad you liked it. i appreciate you taking the time to read it and commment on it.
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What a beautiful and emotional journey you took the reader on with this piece. Written with such love , expressing such a lovely family bond between brothers.
Great write!
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thanks so much, i have to say reading your commment made me feel much better about the rhythm and pace of my writing...thanks again
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Wow...
This is amazing.. the emotion is incredibly strong.. had tears in my eyes.
My favourite poem of yours...
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wow! thanks, for you to say so it's huge for me... i also love your poem for the contest. i don't think it's the best yet...but the most emotional for me.
thanks again marshy!
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