You know that i've read the verses in these books
I know them well, better than the back of any hand
I've decided that I can end this drive now
And head back to the bed I've neglected
While the trees disappear like a faded painting
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There's my breath, crowding the air in front of us
Listening to the beautiful sound of nothing at all
The snow coming to mute any form of color
We haven't seen a car in hours, in this paused life
Drinking whiskey like it was our only option
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The smoke from these cigarettes moves slow
Colder than anything inside my own body
Is the air i've been breathing, the air i've dreamt about
This night is pulling the warmth from your hands
But I won't believe your heart stopped
At least, not to catch my fingers in the dark
Author notes
This was written and put into this contest in order to explain the girl i'm in love with, but can't have.
It's part three in a series.
A contest entry
- Hope(ful) Snowy Nights by SilentMoonlight.
1500 points, ended December 11, 2008, 11 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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smoke moving slow from a cigarette does provoke the feeling of someone you can't have - excellent imagery and metaphor. I really like the way this ends.
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What a way to write about winter - it was breathless.
I love how you talked about the girl you love and can't have and used several addictions (whiskey, cigarettes) in the same poem. Things like that speak volumes.
Breathtaking dearest thanks for entering! -
You have one day to fix your authors comments, then I'll come back and comment on this piece
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