This tears at my mind
Even as the pain is still there
The blood is still flowing
And the fear is still raw
Normally takes awhile
For it to sink in
But i scream and cry
As your blows fall
And you throw me to the wall
Head smacks
And blood trails down
the flaking paint
From that brand new dint in the wall
Which eventually you will paint over
Flash forward to now
How i crave the pain you forced on me
The scars have long faded
iImiss them on my skin
Still in denial both of us the same
You deny that as well
Our lives moved away from the other
I dont know about you
But i miss the fights
At least then you loved me
But i hate how you had me
Wrapped around you finger
And im not even sure i miss you
But taking a breath letting it go
Because though i may still at times
Wish i could bite as hard as i want to
And at other times
Fight not to strike my own blows
And not to reach for that rush
Of hell knows what
Blood, tears and sweat
Dreams of a life before my own now
But still loving the one i have now
Lying to your face now
Wondering what this makes you think now
And above all this nauseating confusion
Letting you go away from my mind
Because these days all i want
Is peace of mind and simply put
Forgiveness.
Author notes
i love my boyfriend with all my heart but at times i cant help thinking and wondering if i will ever forget my first love...ever let go completely... this is about him
and in a way to him
A contest entry
- Your Best Three Pre-writes by piccola.
800 points, ended November 27, 2008, 140 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
-
sounds like it was a mutually abusive relationship that was really not healthy. Peace of mind is something most of us seek and silly as it may seem it is uncomfortable at first and takes some getting used to. thank you for entering
-
sounds like very painful memories. Sounds like it was an abusive relationship and you craved it ... but needed to get out. the anguish and confusion comes across well.
Adding your comment:
