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She's Coming Out

I feel liker her under-weather days
         bringing her down,
though she says she loves the rain
as the sun parts the sky
  and I feel the embrace
                     of an Angel.

Her voice
brings the music of life
thundering through my body,
my heart beats her name,
                let it echo for eternity

this is more than words
                 could say.

and though I wallow
on the sorrows
of drunken fools
wondering upon the lonely thoughts of my soul,
  she takes her hand,
             guides me,
and makes me understand

I'm worth the air I breathe,

I just hope she knows
 she means everything
                 to me.

Author notes

haha....like...yeah...i wrote it...w/e


luna-midnight

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 21 of 21

  • chilali
    November 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    So very sweet. This is filled with vivid and beautiful imagery love! I absolutely adore this piece of yours young lady! Hehehe. Love it, love it, love it!!! Well done and good luck in the contest


  • Ryno
    November 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Bah. Give me a second to breath.

    You captured my heart in this write, you really made me feel your emotions....and, the emotions here, they hurt. But at the end there was that wave of beautiful relief.

    The metaphor was consistent throughout and the images were strong throughout.

    Your best piece I've read yet.


  • penman gold member
    November 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Wonderful

    Very creative and so well done. Best of luck in the contest.


  • Abe 1
    November 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    nicely done me luvly
    I'm worth the air I breathe, ya sure r
    gd luck 2 ya
    cheers abe


  • Desire gold member
    November 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Precious~

    Holy Shindig
    This is a Beauty~ Love how You presented this one also and so full of emotions
    Drip - Drip-
    can't help but want to shed tears~
    Lovely this one is

    Power within each stanza~
    Thank You for sharing Your Heart and Spirit~
    Many blessings to You in all You do Sweet One
    Best wishes in the contest too
    with much love & light~ Desire~*~


  • stylization
    November 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    amazing.


    Her voice
    brings the music of life
    thundering through my body,
    my heart beats her name,
    let it echo for eternity

    this is more than words
    could say.


    amazing.


  • Lady Australis silver member
    November 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    its beautiful sweets
    and you are worth so much much more then a guy who sosnt love you , and you should see it

    love ya


  • Ken-Maverick
    November 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This ones a beauty Steph,
    and i especially loved the way you finished it
    Well done

    Good luck in the contest

    Ken


  • Alyzeh
    November 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Aww..this is so very sweet love. I loved the imagery and the touching feel of it. You're an amazing writer, I can learn a lot from you...and maybe I will.

    Love you loads,
    Alyzeh


  • brightXdarkness
    November 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    aww, I LOVE IT! I agree with old school lol... the ending really is the best! Made me glad I wasn't being lazy, and actually finished it! And btw, I give the imagery an A+ and 3 gold stars!!!


    ....or applauds =P hehe


  • hks
    November 17, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    dude the ending is amazing,
    im gonna steal it. lol

    copy-paste.

    ;]]]]]]


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    November 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Aww this is lovely hun! We all need someone like this in our life!


  • Disturbed Prodigy
    November 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this is something it is grand and i enjoyed reading it, i have to ask who is this about, keep it flowing and good luck in the contest


  • my.stars.dont.shine
    November 17, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Aw, I really really like this. Its sweet. =) Good luck in the contest! <3

1 - 21 of 21